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Mar 30, 2012
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Hello Dawn
Hello Dawn
You are that dawn of life
most folks hanker to see,
you are that sunrise too,
we all that always knew...
I am the sunset of a distant horizon
and
you think I am as far as the Amazon,
but remember this from far
those who appreciate you,
it’s a bliss
the heavenly kiss...
the truth is this
but we all turn a blind eye
always at it
the truth...
if it were so for him too
his heart would let you know
but there is a mystery too,
sometimes even hearts don't know...
such love abounds
between two souls ,
who see each other as life's goal
and
one among them is you
how I wish
the other one knew...
— loved, Mar 30, 2012
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About This Poem
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Critiques
Ian.T
14 years 2 months ago
Loved
I love this piece and it read ok I would have made a little change where you say:-
I am the sunset of a distant horizon
that you think I am as far as the Amazon,
but remember this from far
those who appreciate you,
it’s a bliss... Etc:- it is that you could add that a sunset is someone's sunrise, then this would bring you closer or that you would return, not sure where this is going so I will set, Yours Ian
loved
14 years 2 months ago
Hello Ian, thanks a million
perhaps I shall have to modify the verse
as you have suggested Thanks