HALF-ASSED SHAFTED

Once he left, all the smart leaders laughed
at the big bully baby so daft
that he crawled back for less
well, of course they said yes
what a mess when you get your own shaft!

About This Poem

Last Few Words: I think this one is pretty sound metrically. I know variances are allowed, but I believe the standard format is hard to type here as an example because you can't put anything in paragraph form or start a new line...hm...something to improve, I suppose. You'll have to take my word for it!

Style/Type: Structured: Western

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft