Grief ending

I wear red shirts now
Not black
Sometimes
I comb my hair
And tie it back

White roots show

I still smell of darkness
And the crow

About This Poem

Last Few Words: I have posted this very short poem as I just started working on it quite recently. It is about trying to heal after the rawness of grief . I wanted to sum up the internal struggle of recovery, the deepness of grief with the pagan aspect and symbol of death. I also wanted it short and memorable, grief hurts enough without going on and on about it.

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Direction: How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism

Editing Stage: Editing - draft

About the Author

Region, Country: nsw, australia, AUS

Favorite Poets: Too many influences, probably. Always listening to new voices as well as remembering the old

This user supports Neopoet so it can be free to all

Comments

weirdelf

12 years 10 months ago

It works!

I love poetry short, "compression of meaning" is almost a definition of poetry for me.

Impressive debut poem, Jenifer

Jenifer James

12 years 10 months ago

Grief ending

Thank you for your welcome to this lovely place and for introducing me to the space. I really look forward to becoming an active member.

Ian.T

12 years 10 months ago

Jenifer

A complete and flowing piece that says everything in few words.
Lovely to see you greet the day, and feel the sunshine...

I am from the old ways and we have always believed that if a crow stays on a house for the three days then death will visit there,
I think that it comes from the fact that they are carrion birds with a great link to where ever, and know more than we give them credit for. or have senses we have long lost. Pagan indeed, I wonder why vultures circle around for hours, who told them ???
Welcome to Neopoet and have a lovely new year "NEW".
Yours Ian.T

Jenifer James

12 years 10 months ago

Grief ending

Thanks, Ian. I am also from the old ways and love the sound of crows/ravens - the great, black carrion birds, the cleaners of the dead. (Also - in a moment of silliness, I think vultures just get stuck on flight paths, imitating Heathrow on a bad day, unable to land, but unable to go).
I bring the crow/raven theme into poetry quite a lot - all the myths around them are outstanding. Pagan is an odd space: a place of great imagery and belief, scares so many people.Speak again soon, I trust.