Exhausted

I’m so tired
But then again
I barely sleep
My eyes are closed
But the nightmares
Creep in, just the same

It's so hard to breathe
Even when awake
The simplest thing
Is the hardest thing
Overwhelmed by life

Endless confrontation
Trigger memories
Of my past
If only I could forget
And learn to love him
Less and less

Loving a monster
The sickness
I cannot escape
Rollercoaster of emotions
Undoubted grief

I’m so tired
Of pretending I’m ok
When there is no end
To this hell
I fear
I may never be the same