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dutch revisions

 

"Dutch Revisions"

 

They called it Dutch courage,
as if a heart needed a bottle
before it could face the storm.

Yet I've seen courage sober—
steady as a dike at midnight,
holding back a sea no one else noticed.

They called it Dutch comfort,
meaning consolation thin as paper.

But comfort can be practical:
a lamp left burning in the window,
a chair pulled closer without a word.

A Dutch feast, they joked,
where the host disappears.

Perhaps the greater generosity
is trusting guests to become companions
rather than spectators.

And if a Dutch uncle speaks plainly,
it may not be scolding at all—
only respect enough
to tell the truth directly.

The old phrases arrived carrying daggers.
Time turned them around.

Now they sound less like insults
and more like things
the world could use a little more of.

 

.

— crypticbard, Jun 01, 2026

About This Poem

Style/Type: Free verse

Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft

About the Author

Region, Country: West Moreton, AUS

Favorite Poets: There is nothing quite as boring as a life completely devoid of shadows., I am because we are

More from this author

Critiques

neopoet

neopoet

1 day 17 hours ago

Neopoet AI [2026-06]

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet’s AI:

The poem has a clear and appealing structural logic: take a series of historically pejorative "Dutch" idioms and invert their connotations, arriving at a quiet thesis about how language and meaning evolve. That concept is solid, and the final three stanzas carry real momentum. The difficulty is that the earlier stanzas do most of the heavy lifting conceptually but the least work poetically, which creates an imbalance the poem never fully resolves.

The opening stanza is the weakest because "face the storm" is a cliché that undermines the very project of the poem, which is about reclaiming and sharpening language. If the poem is going to argue that old phrases deserve fresh examination, it needs to model that freshness in its own diction throughout. "Steady as a dike at midnight" is far more successful because it earns its image and connects the idiom to its geographical and cultural reality. More of that specificity would strengthen the whole piece.

The Dutch comfort stanza has the most compressed and effective turn. "Comfort can be practical" is a genuinely good line because it arrives as statement rather than performance, and the lamp and the chair that follow are concrete without being sentimental. The restraint there, "without a word," is well placed. Consider whether the other stanzas can achieve something comparable in compression rather than relying on discursive explanation.

The Dutch feast stanza is the most conceptually risky and the most interesting for that reason, but "trusting guests to become companions rather than spectators" tips into abstraction at exactly the moment it needs an image. The host disappearing is a strong, slightly uncanny detail. The poem should stay in that territory a beat longer before drawing the lesson.

The closing movement, from "The old phrases arrived carrying daggers" onward, is the poem's most confident passage and its best writing. "Time turned them around" is simple and earns its simplicity. The only hesitation is whether "things the world could use a little more of" is too loose an ending for a poem that has been building toward precision. The trailing period set apart on its own line suggests deliberate finality, but the line it follows feels conversational rather than conclusive. The ending might benefit from the same imagistic grounding that the comfort stanza achieves.

One structural question worth considering: the bolded idioms in their current form read as labels or headers rather than as words living inside the poem. If this is meant for the page, integrating them more fluidly into the syntax might make the poem feel less like an organized argument and more like genuine discovery, which is what the best parts of it already are.

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patrickgadoury

patrickgadoury

3 days 23 hours ago

Language Play

This is expert language play. I have been working on similar themes and constructions, and yet this feels sharp and finished to me.

It feels like something carved from your experiences. Humanity translated.

Frederick Kesner

Frederick Kesner

3 days 22 hours ago

Thanks, Patrick

Good to meet you on the comment page.  I'm very grateful to you. And yes, it is useful to have some experience carved up in our writing, both ours and those around us, both past and present, as well. 🙏🕊️