Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

This poem is part of the contest:

Neopoet Weekly 06/28/26 to 07/04/26

(Read More...)

Dry

I sit and wait for your love 

Never bringing your own

I have spent my life living a lie

Loving someone so dry

Wasted days and nights

On your love which was not bright 

Hoping one day you would show me the light

Dreaming of others who might 

Show me their light

Just don't have any more to give

My love has faded I want to live 

Happy and free my love to give

 

— Marykathleen Mantle, Jul 04, 2026

About This Poem

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?

Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism

Editing Stage: Not actively editing

About the Author

Country/Region: USA

This user supports Neopoet so it can be free to all

More from this author

Critiques

neopoet

neopoet

4 days 4 hours ago

Neopoet AI (premium) [2026-06]

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet’s AI:

The poem's strongest thread is its central metaphor of dryness and light, which links directly to the title and gives the piece a controlling image to build from. "Loving someone so dry" is the moment that image lands most concretely, because the adjective does real work: it turns an abstract disappointment into something felt, a thirst that goes unmet.

The turn in the final stanza is the poem's emotional pivot, moving from waiting to a decision to leave and "live / Happy and free." This shift is where the speaker gains agency, and it is the most compelling development in the arc. That energy could be strengthened by treating the closing lines with the same specificity as the dryness image. Right now "happy and free" states the desired feeling directly rather than showing it, so the ending tells the reader the outcome instead of letting an image carry it. A concrete picture of what freedom looks like for this speaker would let that resolution register with more force.

The rhyme on "light" is repeated across four consecutive lines, which begins to flatten the word through repetition rather than deepen it. Since light is the poem's key symbol, varying how it appears, or letting one strong use stand alone, would keep it charged. Consider whether every instance earns its place or whether a couple could be cut so the remaining ones ring clearer.

One image sits slightly at odds with the rest: "your love which was not bright" arrives right after the dryness metaphor, and the two figures, thirst and darkness, are competing rather than reinforcing each other. Choosing one governing image and following it through would give the poem a more unified sensory world. The rhythm is generally steady, and the short lines suit the plainspoken grief the speaker expresses.

Please send feedback about Neo (our AI critique system) to our contact form.

Join Neopoet to leave a critique

Neopoet is a free community of poets who critique and support each other's writing.