Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.
Apr 14, 2013
⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)
double grumble
grumblers two
can't still believe
it's a metre long...
you work in depth
in knots
all know
but metre perhaps
is a bit too long ...
no!
reduce your weight...
I did too
ran a mile
then collapsed
as just as well
with the laden weight
of bag of vegetables
so why reduce weight
I say
make do
your better half will still love you
slow be it never mind
life's always been a fast grind...
never mind
the days ahead
better slow
than be dead.
About This Poem
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Josephus
13 years ago
OK Loved, now I at least
OK Loved, now I at least understand your context. Losing weight is a personal challenge and can only be accomplished if you believe in yourself and the "rightness" of the exercise and diet. I know, I lost 80 pounds in to years. Others caenciurage but only you can make it work successfully.
Blessings,
Joe
loved
13 years ago
i am that creature....
which in all humans
does enter
then i visualize
and
compose poetry
concise.....
but yes
I also now need to weigh down
else one day
I'll look a clown ...
which I now mostly do
to humour guys
like you
so I must thank you too!!!!
Ian.T
13 years ago
Loved
Unless people don't overindulge through mostly boredom, then I think that they will become their natural weight.
What was the fist Stanza all about ??? is that your waist measurement ??
Once again you have used a comment as a separate poem, you see I still read all the poems and the comments lol, Yours Ian.T
PS:- have just found the first Stanza as a comment to Joe's poem about the city Yin and Yang (Now Now Naughty, you trying to trip me up)
LOL
loved
13 years ago
catch me as
always as you can
Ian my poetic man,
sparrow