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Jun 10, 2013
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delilah
locks
like a key
turned
falling like tumblers
the reign in drips
beauties receivership
About This Poem
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
doomhead
12 years 10 months ago
I've been trying to eliminate similes
from my own writing, so perhaps this is why I stand a little at odds with this poem. Also, the mention of tumblers seems to jar with what is in general (at least in my mind) a less suburban setting. What I enjoy about this poem is it's concise imagery and brutally narrow shape.
Esker
12 years 10 months ago
thank you for the perception of this..
historical refrence yes..
and modern overlap...
Delilah was suburban
an edifice of such
not a battle place
nor quest route....
Narrow shape....
indeed!!
loved
12 years 10 months ago
how about SAMSON
wasn't he the lover
ida
12 years 10 months ago
licks
serpents tongue
heady
castrated victory
shows
highlights in a tangled mane
desire ripped
reaped
cost uncloaked
your poety causes gasp's
thankyou