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Aug 09, 2026
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Dance
It is funny and sometimes confusing about how life is going,
Most of the time it’s not the here and now, it’s the not knowing
You can have the whole world in the palm of your hand and it’s still not enough
Remember the times when life got bumpy-times that made you tough
Sometimes having nothing is like having it all
One person is no better than the next- we all stumble and fall
Opiates, alcohol, whatever the poison of your choice
You have had enough of this addiction- it’s time you have a voice
Keep in mind this decision won’t be easy- it will be an uphill fight
It will constantly be pulling at you - throughout out the day and the night
Ever constant in its presence -never giving you a break
Testing your will and sanity- seeing how much you can take
You will grasp to hold on, seeking a higher power and peace
Asking God “please help me” powerless over your disease
Realizing anything is possible be determined and be strong
Find out what you’re made of - before it’s too late and you’re dead and gone
You have people that care for you -just open your eyes and see
That person receiving their tag at a meeting- just think- that could be me
Keep your nose to the grindstone - you can become who you want to be
Don’t be afraid- you got this- in due time you will see
Soon this will fade to black- and you will have a story to share
You will have overcame one of the biggest obstacles in life - now it is fair
Enjoy it- love deeply- smile for no reason at all
Now that you have gained your sobriety- relearn to walk tall
You have the opportunity that many addicts may not have had the chance
Life is at your fingertips now- don’t forget to dance
— Afterburner45660, Aug 09, 2026
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About This Poem
Editing Stage: Not actively editing
Critiques
neopoet
6 days 23 hours ago
Neopoet AI [2026-06]
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet’s AI:
The poem's central impulse — using the extended metaphor of dance as a frame for recovery — is genuinely affecting, and the closing image of life at one's fingertips with the invitation to dance lands with warmth and earned optimism. The lines addressing addiction's relentlessness ("Ever constant in its presence, never giving you a break / Testing your will and sanity") carry real tension and are among the poem's most grounded moments.
The main area to develop is specificity. Much of the poem relies on familiar phrases — "nose to the grindstone," "uphill fight," "walk tall," "what you're made of" — that, while emotionally sincere, tend to pass through the reader without catching. The poem would gain considerably in power by trading some of these generalities for concrete, sensory detail: a particular moment, a texture, a specific image drawn from the experience of recovery rather than a description of it. The rhyme scheme also works against the poem at points, pushing lines toward awkward phrasing ("You will have overcame," "it is fair") or padding ("throughout out the day") in service of the end sound. Loosening the rhyme in those strained spots, or reworking the lines so the rhyme arrives naturally, would let the emotional content breathe more freely.
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Tink
5 days 15 hours ago
Howdy! I'm Tink
Welcome to Neopoet!
Thank you for sharing your first poem with us!
This can be a delicate subject matter. While this seems to be an encouraging poem, I personally don't do well with longer prose type of poetry. I tend to find myself skimming and losing focus. Less is more to me. I think you can have a greater impact with less fluff and fillers. Again, just my personal opinion. I would love to see you revisit this and see you could tighten it up.
Please reach out if you have any questions or need help navigating through Neopoet. You can usually find me in the chatroom. We just launched our themed chatrooms, Geezer is hosting a room on Saturday nights, Myself on Friday nights and BlueSkies on Monday nights. You can find them on the calendar events. Hope you can visit!! We would love to have you join us!!
Live, Love, Laugh
(and don't forget to Write!!)
Yours in Ink,
Tink
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