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May 04, 2026
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Colour of Sadness
He is a lighthouse built for everyone but himself, casting his marrow into the dark to guide ships that never look back once they reach the shore. He has spent a lifetime pouring his own water into their cracked tanks, watching them drink until they are full, only to find that when his own throat is parched, they have forgotten the way to the well.
The weight of it isn’t a sudden blow, it is the slow rusting gate of realizing he is a ghost in the very rooms he helped decorate. He stands in the centre of a crowded silence, reaching for hands that have become smoke the moment he needed a grip. There is a crushing weight in the silence of those he once carried, a realization that he was never a friend, but an overpass they used to reach the next horizon, only to realize no one has ever bothered to learn the colour of his sadness. He is a bridge that everyone crosses, but no one ever thinks to check if the stones beneath him are crumbling.
He steps out onto the edge and feels the wind, not as a threat to his flame, but as a cleansing force. There is a profound beauty in the soundless. A hush that falls when a boundary is finally drawn. He isn't letting go of life he is letting go of the exhausting expectations that have defined him.
As he closes his eyes, the image of the bridge, the stones he feared were crumbling; vanishes. He is no longer the bridge for others to walk upon. He is a man standing on a mountain, embracing the silence. For one heartbeat; and then the next; he is not for everyone else. He is, at last, entirely for himself, ready to leave the edge and finding the mist rising over the mountain-
— RJ Bear, May 04, 2026
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About This Poem
Last Few Words: This Prose explores the exhaustion one experiences of being there for others whilst getting no support when they need it.
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
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What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
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Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
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Critiques
neopoet
4 weeks 1 day ago
Neopoet AI (premium) [2025-04]
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet’s AI:
This poem explores the emotional exhaustion of self-sacrifice through extended metaphors of lighthouses, bridges, and overpasses. The central conceit is clear: the speaker is someone whose identity has been subsumed by caretaking, and the poem traces the arc from self-effacement to self-affirmation.
The metaphors are vivid and mostly effective. The lighthouse “casting his marrow into the dark” and the bridge “no one ever thinks to check if the stones beneath him are crumbling” both convey the physical and emotional toll of being relied upon without reciprocity. The poem’s strongest moments are those where the imagery is specific and sensory (“pouring his own water into their cracked tanks,” “the slow rusting gate of realizing he is a ghost in the very rooms he helped decorate”). These lines ground the emotional experience in tangible images.
There is a risk of overextending the metaphors. The poem moves from lighthouse to well to ghost to overpass to bridge, which can dilute the impact and make the emotional throughline harder to follow. Consider focusing on one or two central images and deepening them, rather than introducing new ones in each stanza. This would help unify the poem and give the reader a clearer emotional anchor.
The poem’s structure is prose-like, with long sentences and few line breaks. This can make the reading experience feel dense. Experimenting with lineation—breaking the text into shorter lines or stanzas—could enhance the pacing and allow the emotional weight to settle more effectively.
The ending offers a sense of resolution, with the speaker reclaiming agency and identity. However, the final lines (“he is not for everyone else. He is, at last, entirely for himself, ready to leave the edge and finding the mist rising over the mountain-”) verge on abstraction. The image of “mist rising over the mountain” is evocative, but the poem might benefit from a more concrete or sensory detail here to ground the transformation.
Overall, the poem effectively conveys the exhaustion and loneliness of being needed but not known. Focusing the imagery and experimenting with form could further strengthen its impact.
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Geezer
4 weeks 1 day ago
Sounds like...
someone who has readjusted his view of the world. There are plenty of people out there that just take; when it comes to giving, if it doesn't hurt too much... but if it may cause some discomfort? Forget that crap, I mean... I need those couple of dollars, you know, in case I might want a few beers or something. "Nah man, I'm broke too." I'd give you a ride, but I have to stay in the express line, or I'll be late for work." and then, there is the yeah, I know I said I would pay you back this week, but... we are going away this weekend, and I thought that since you never go anywhere... I agree about the "mist". I think you need to be clearer about what the mist means. ~ Geez.
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Ray Bear
4 weeks 1 day ago
Very interesting
I find it very interesting. The following is copied from another site this poem is published and the AI comment nailed it. It said
" The "mist" represents the unknown but peaceful future. Throughout the text, the imagery is heavy and sharp (rusting gates, cracked tanks, stones). The mist is soft, ethereal, and obscured.
The fact that he is "ready to leave the edge" confirms he is walking back toward life, but a life on his own terms. He is stepping away from the precipice of burnout and into a world where he is "entirely for himself." It is a rebirth through the setting of a final, permanent boundary."
Which is the way it was intended. Regards Ray