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Dec 05, 2011
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CLOSE YOUR EYES
Close your eyes,
For one simple moment feel free.
Close your eyes,
Remember these words that flow within me.
Enchanted I scream
And cold mornings
Vanish for an eternity.
Alone in solitude,
This day shall not,
Will not I scream.
This day will not confine you.
Close your eyes and remember these words,
I pray you, listen,
In these times I will remind you.
Close your eyes,
Tears gone cold.
Allow this day not an eternity,
Allow this moments dream a reality.
One single moment this day,
In heart you shall not feel old
I pray you believe.
About This Poem
Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
wesley snow
13 years 10 months ago
Stunning.
I mean really. I couldn't help you improve this one if my soul required it.
Oh wait,
"Allow this moments dream a reality." I think here "moment's" is possessive.
Okay, I'm done. No more typos and the poem is too stunning for me to mess with.
wesley
reepa
13 years 10 months ago
AWSOME
Thanks Wesely, that was my pen and paper, I took your advice,
I actually wanted to put there, This is for you.
Z.S Godfrey
loved
13 years 10 months ago
People can't see with open eyes
what will they see
when as you want them to close .
their eyes
with that they will also close their mind..
but a good poem
and suggestion
your maiden poem
wesley snow
13 years 10 months ago
The maniacs here...
... just made me a mentor. I guess my work is done. I am very pleased that I could put such creative brakes on you. And it even worked. Thank you for my dedication. This goes in my archives. wesley
reepa
13 years 10 months ago
It was you
Honestly thank you.
Zane
raj
13 years 10 months ago
Reepa
what can i say about this write when seasoned poet like Wesleay has said "Stunning"..it indeed is that...with lot of depth...
reepa
13 years 10 months ago
Thank you Raj
Stunning is a big word. I am happy a poet like you can say somthing that big on something i wrote.
Many thanks.
Zane
Eduardo Cruz
13 years 10 months ago
reepa
I enjoyed this, because of the eyes being close to truly see. I am a Taoist, and the reason I close my eyes is so I can see without being trapped by the worlds domesticate of what I should see. Rather to see what my minds eye sees.
A marvalous write, it had an Old World and Eastern feeling to it.
Eddie
reepa
13 years 10 months ago
Most amazing
I loved your point of " eyes being close to truly see", My thanks. Truly
not much more to say.
I appreciate your words.
Zane