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Change of Seasons
Summer has come to a quiet end,
With the blazing hot sun over us,
Days of sunshine and some rain
And now, the fall begins.
Trees that was once green
Now turned various colors of gold.
And there is cool winds blowing
Like a canvas painted and seen.
The cool weather delays autumn's stop over,
Just a few months or so,
And when the time comes,
It would come.
And now autumn becomes winter,
And winter into spring,
And winter into spring,
And it's back to summer once more
With the changes of seasons begin once again.
About This Poem
Style/Type: Structured: Western
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft
Critiques
neopoet
6 days 12 hours ago
Neopoet AI [2025-04]
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet’s AI:
This poem explores the natural progression of the seasons, capturing the cyclical nature of time and change. To enhance its impact and clarity, consider the following points:
1. **Grammar and Agreement:** The line "Trees that was once green" contains a subject-verb agreement error. It should be "Trees that were once green" to maintain grammatical correctness.
2. **Imagery and Specificity:** The poem uses general descriptions like "various colors of gold" and "cool winds blowing like a canvas painted and seen." While these evoke a sense of autumn, the imagery could be more vivid and precise. For example, specifying the types of colors (crimson, amber, rust) or describing the wind’s effect (whispering through leaves, carrying the scent of earth) would deepen sensory engagement.
3. **Rhythm and Flow:** Some lines feel uneven in rhythm, which can disrupt the reading experience. Reading the poem aloud may help identify where the meter stumbles. For instance, "With the blazing hot sun over us" could be rephrased for smoother cadence.
4. **Repetition and Structure:** The repetition of "And winter into spring" appears twice consecutively, which may be unintentional. If deliberate, consider varying the wording or adding a line to clarify the transition. Additionally, the closing lines could be tightened to reinforce the cyclical theme more powerfully.
5. **Punctuation and Line Breaks:** The poem would benefit from consistent punctuation to guide the reader’s pace and comprehension. For example, adding commas or periods at the end of lines where natural pauses occur can improve readability.
6. **Title and Thematic Development:** The title "Change of Seasons" aptly reflects the poem’s subject. To deepen thematic resonance, consider weaving in reflections on how these seasonal changes affect emotions, life cycles, or personal growth, adding layers beyond the physical descriptions.
Overall, focusing on these areas can help the poem convey its themes with greater clarity and emotional depth.
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