The Calm within

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet’s AI:

This poem presents a clear emotional journey, contrasting internal anxiety with moments of external calm and hope. The use of imagery such as "Beneath an exterior lily white" and "tummy rumbles like a drill" effectively conveys the tension between outward composure and inner turmoil. The metaphor of an "earthquake" to describe fear is vivid and relatable, emphasizing the intensity of the speaker’s anxiety.

The seasonal references—summer sunshine versus autumn gloom—serve as a strong structural and thematic device, illustrating the cyclical nature of emotional states. This helps ground the poem in a temporal context that many readers can connect with, enhancing its universality.

However, some lines could benefit from tighter phrasing to improve rhythm and impact. For example, "With hands deceptively still" might be reworked to better align with the surrounding imagery or to clarify whose hands are referenced. Additionally, the rhyme scheme is consistent but occasionally feels forced, such as in the closing couplet where "prose" and "close" are paired; considering slant rhymes or varying the rhyme pattern might create a more natural flow.

The poem’s conclusion, invoking gratitude and hope, provides a hopeful resolution but shifts tone somewhat abruptly with the direct mention of God and "heartfelt prose." Integrating this spiritual element more subtly throughout the poem could create a more cohesive emotional arc.

Overall, the poem effectively captures the tension between anxiety and hope, using accessible language and relatable metaphors. Refining some lines for rhythm and integrating thematic elements more seamlessly would enhance its emotional resonance and lyrical quality.

Please send feedback about Neo (our AI critique system) to neopoet.com/contact

that a little better identification of the hands, [my hands],  the ending of battle could be [ing], so too, the use of [ing] may be helpful in [expel] making the line say: 
Doom's pushed out, expelling sadness. [short-lived] peace instead of temporary, could make the line smoother. The absence of the [ing] helps the meter in the line, making the line: "As the thrum of anxiety set to decrease." All just little things to meet the meter and make it smoother.

It sounds as though you are having some relief from your pain during the day when there are distractions, I hope that is true. ~Geez.
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Tigger,

 Liked the poem, agree with geezer about some items. 
Liked the first stanza

"Beneath an exterior lily white,
Anxiety's hidden, wrapped up tight.
With hands deceptively still,
Whilst tummy rumbles like a drill."