Neopoet

Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

brittle light
brittle light
Jun 12, 2012 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Call It What You Will (Page 3)

cornfield billows
tossing tresses nonchalant
a silky wind

...

shiney umbellas
drip slicked-back rainbow puddles
in shades, neon

...

spare room memories
clusters of junk, love-nesting
immemorial

...

a bird extends wings
flight happens, naturally
I must try, flap flop

...

insight distilled
from vats to vial potent
pocket poems

...

frog in a pond
so what! I'd rather be in
Philadelphia

...

from stale darkness,
a wellspring of bubbling light
fresh dreams are drawn

...

— brittle light, Jun 12, 2012

About This Poem

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: upstate New York USA, USA

More from this author

Critiques

BlueDemon77

BlueDemon77

13 years 11 months ago

Interesting Write Brittle

Hi, I'm Ron (Blue Demon77)

I am impressed with this poem. I love writing in haiku for the same reason I love all form: precision. I thought at first that you were going for strict haiku all the way but some syllabic changes at the bottom changed it from the requisite 5-7-5 sometimes using up to 10 syllables, other times using 4. I enjoyed the work very much. It still has the Japanese ability to take a snapshot figuratively and let it burn in the mind. Much of your haiku segments do that. I say righteous effort, I enjoyed it greatly. Thanks for a pleasurable write.

Ron

Blue Demon77

brittle light

brittle light

13 years 11 months ago

Hello, Ron

Hello, Ron

virtually glad to meet you.
thanks for the critique and comments.
always appreciated, though I do not always reciprocate.
I find correspondance extremly difficult
harder than poetry!
a personality flaw? or bad manners
call it what you will
I'll try harder to be a better Neopoetician (I always say this, but never seem to get better at it)
in the meantime
keep prolific!

thanks again

Ian.T

Ian.T

13 years 11 months ago

Al

A great gathering of short verse that say so much in so few words, maybe you could have a visit with Barbara on her Renga epic.
I am sure that you precise words would be so welcome,
Yours Ian.T