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Apr 25, 2026
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as the bugle fades
A faint drift of camp‑smoke moves across the oval,
cool on the tongue, sharp as wet timber.
Neighbours gather in a loose ring,
boots pressing small hollows into the grass.
The diary pages, worn thin at the creases,
lift slightly in the breeze
before the reader’s voice settles again—
slow as weather shifting across the range,
a front you can feel before you see.
The march is smaller this year.
Still, each step lands with its own weight—
a muted thud, a rasp of leather,
the brass line warming the air
with a tone that hangs just long enough
to touch the shopfront windows.
Kids lean from verandas with cardboard poppies,
and the crowd parts quietly
so an older man can steady himself
and place a wreath cut fresh from his yard,
its scent rising briefly above the bitumen.
By afternoon the town loosens back into its rhythms:
doors half‑open, a dog pacing the fence,
the faint metallic ring of someone working in a shed.
A few of us stay near the memorial garden,
letting the day ease out around us.
What we carry from here
isn’t grand or ceremonial—
just the ongoing work of looking after one another,
the kind that continues long after the bugle fades.
----- original below -----
A faint drift of camp‑smoke moves across the oval
as neighbours gather in a loose ring,
boots scuffing dew‑dark grass.
Someone reads from an old diary,
paper soft at the folds,
its words settle over us
like a weather front passing slow across the range.
The march is smaller this year,
but each step lands with its own weight.
Kids lean from verandas with cardboard poppies,
a brass line warms the air near the cenotaph,
and the crowd parts gently
so, an older man can steady himself
before placing a wreath cut fresh from his yard.
By afternoon the town thins back into its rhythms—
shops half‑open, dogs restless at the fence.
A few of us stay near the memorial garden,
letting the day breathe out around us,
aware of how these gatherings
shape the way we carry our shared work forward
long after the bugle has faded.
.
— crypticbard, Apr 25, 2026
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About This Poem
Last Few Words: On the occasion of 2026 ANZAC day
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Editing Stage: Editing - draft
Critiques
neopoet
1 month 1 week ago
Neopoet AI [2025-04]
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet’s AI:
This poem effectively captures the quiet, reflective atmosphere of a remembrance event, using subtle imagery and measured pacing to evoke a sense of communal memory and respect. The opening image of "a faint drift of camp-smoke" sets a tone of lingering history, while the simile comparing the diary’s words to "a weather front passing slow across the range" beautifully conveys the weight and gradual impact of remembrance.
The poem’s structure, moving from the gathering to the march and then to the dispersal of the crowd, mirrors the natural progression of such ceremonies and lends a narrative flow that feels both intimate and communal. The details—cardboard poppies, the brass line, the wreath "cut fresh from his yard"—ground the poem in tangible, relatable moments that enhance its emotional resonance without becoming overly sentimental.
One area to consider for further development is the poem’s rhythm and line breaks. While the free verse style suits the contemplative mood, varying line lengths or introducing more deliberate pauses could heighten the emotional impact, particularly in the transition between the march and the afternoon scenes. Additionally, exploring more sensory details—sounds beyond the bugle, tactile sensations, or even scents—might deepen the immersive quality of the poem.
The closing lines effectively underscore the theme of collective memory shaping ongoing responsibility, but the phrase "shape the way we carry our shared work forward" could be tightened or made more specific to enhance clarity and power. For example, specifying what "shared work" entails or using more evocative language could leave a stronger impression.
Overall, the poem succeeds in portraying a nuanced moment of remembrance, balancing personal and communal perspectives with understated yet evocative imagery. With slight refinements in rhythm and specificity, it could achieve even greater emotional depth and resonance.
Please send feedback about Neo (our AI critique system) to neopoet.com/contact
Frederick Kesner
1 month 1 week ago
Let's see
how you deal with these words... see you in 6 hours!
Frederick Kesner
1 month 1 week ago
so, now...
who reviews the revision after?