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Jan 14, 2026
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A Brief Escape
Just push play and get into that time machine
Go back to those days of youth and jubilance
Relive those moments that now seem like lost dreams
The ones you once chased with sheer exuberance
Remember those long nights when you stayed up late
Or the drives you took without destinations
The laughter shared with friends always seemed so great
Or a lover’s first kiss with palpitations
Which songs will bring you those old recollections
Will you dance or smile, will you laugh or cry?
Will the melodies bring back bold reflections
When memories play in the blink of an eye
Move the needle down the groove on the record
Or fast forward for the next song on the tape
The train down memory lane awaits – hop aboard
Let the music take you on a brief escape
About This Poem
Style/Type: Structured: Western
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft
Comments
Geezer
3 months 1 week ago
When you...
use long lines as you have here, you should try to keep the meter as close as possible; otherwise, you run the risk of making the reader stumble.
The meter never has to be exact with any rhyming; but it shouldn't make the reader move from the rhythm either. If you have a different sound where the meter says it should go, then the reader stumbles and the scene is ruined! No, I am kidding. But you get the idea. Just look for connective words like and, for, etc. cut them out if they make you over one syllable beyond the matching line. The same goes for adding a syllable if you absolutely can't imagine that matching line any less.
Yes, this brought many memories, oof being young and in love, [well, relatively young]. Nicely done. ~ Geez.
Wallyroo92
2 months 2 weeks ago
A Brief Escape
Greetings Geez,
Thank you for reading and commenting. I have taken your advice to heart and have been working more on meter and rhythm with my work lately. I often get "lazy" and I'm all over the place, or I usually make the lines longer because I like to throw internal rhyme along with wordplay. Even after some 30+ years of writing I find myself working on this craft.
Hope you have those favorites songs that take down memory lane.
Geezer
2 months 2 weeks ago
Absolutely...
I think that we are all of that nature. any of us, that is, who want to stay relevant and reach our readers. I pay attention to the changes in vernacular around me. [You should have heard my Southern accent when I lived in Louisiana]. LoL But, I digress, The loss of punctuation in some work and the capitalization or lack of, on every line used to drive me crazy; not so much anymore. Change... Yeah, I like a lot of different kinds of music, but primarily rock and blues; so, I have infinite choices, been listening to Alvin Lee .
~ Geez.
.
Lavender
3 months 1 week ago
A Brief Escape
Hello, Wallyroo,
Such a treat reading your escape mechanisms - I tend to briefly retreat to most of those myself!
A fun poem! Very much enjoyed!
Thank you!
L
Wallyroo92
2 months 2 weeks ago
A Brief Escape
Thank you Lavender,
Yes, we all have those special songs we retreat to, bring up some of those old memories and relish in the moment of youth. While listening I've often caught myself smiling or calling myself "idiot" out loud only to realize that it was several decades ago. But that's what great music does.