Breakfast

Your unique omelets
Fascinate me. Like your sex
Always exotic

— vexations10, Apr 23, 2011

About This Poem

Last Few Words: I know this is not a true haiku. Also go ahead and criticize the poem. I thought I would check “please use care” for once to see if anybody notices!

Style/Type: Structured: Eastern

Review Request Intensity: Please use care (this is a sensitive subject for me, do not critique harshly)

Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft

About the Author

Country/Region: USA

Critiques

scribbler

15 years 1 month ago

hello

I sometimes mark Japanese on a western classic for same reason lol. Not a haiku, but still a very descriptive Japanese. Maybe Senryu?..................scribbler

vexations10

15 years 1 month ago

Thanks Scribbler

I agree that it should be called a Senryu.

Barbara Writes

15 years 1 month ago

hi Vexation

omelets and sex never would have thought. lol
nice piece

vexations10

15 years 1 month ago

Thanks Barbara

I’m glad you liked this Senryu (others have told me that is what it is).

CCfire

15 years 1 month ago

You could call it a Senryu as

You could call it a Senryu as it involves people :P I think it's interesting to do these a different way.

vexations10

15 years 1 month ago

Oh yes,

I had heard of Senryu but never locked in on it as a variation of the haiku. Thanks much.

raj

15 years 1 month ago

a nice expression..i guess

a nice expression..i guess the reference to omelets n sex is due to the sizzling effect of both...

vexations10

15 years 1 month ago

Now I

want to add another verse including the word sizzling. Thanks for the comment

Eduardo Cruz

15 years 1 month ago

Vex

haiku" are usaully to compare nature and life's deeper meaning, but this is deep in sex and i lke it.
talk about improving on an omelet, Hahaha!
It's so interesting what you've done here.