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Bond Forever
Being his daughter
I was never fond of him
From the beginning to now
And possibly forever
Though we are two
We share the same mind
Same style, same sign
And a type of friendship solely remarkable
In times of inconvenience
As I recognized
No one but him
Can only give me relief
No boundaries as a limit
The emotions given
Our bonds only driven
To an extend of abundance
This is how I know
Him and I cannot be disconnected
Only pursued endlessly
As a Bond Forever
About This Poem
Last Few Words: The poem is based on my relationship with my Dad and how we both are when together and apart.
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Sparrow 42
5 years 7 months ago
Catherine
Welcome to Neopoet and I hope your stay here will bring out the best in your writings.
This write is good and I could see the conflict of feelings laid out as many stay in those places and it becomes a natural place.
The love of a Father and that he is a Father draws a tight bond that no one can break, if the journey of life was easy we would learn Nothing,
Yours Ian x
Catherine
5 years 7 months ago
Thanks
I will be glad to stay here. Thanks for reading my poem means a lot.
Geezer
5 years 7 months ago
Hello and welcome...
to Neopoet. I like your poem about your dad and yourself. It makes me feel like I missed something,[ like the joy of feeling connected to a father.] I notice that you capitalized it when you said Him. That alone shows me something about the bond you claim was only superficial until you needed him. I like your title, the language is good but a little stilted, the theme is good and it flows well. ~ Geezer.
.
Catherine
5 years 7 months ago
Thanks
Hope to get more critiques from you for my future poems.
Eumolpus
5 years 7 months ago
Nice ideas
I would cut this and start with the second stanza:
Being his daughter
I was never fond of him
From the beginning to now
And possibly forever
Opening the poem with this, too many assumptions and disconnects. Why is just being a daughter cause for not being fond of a father, like that's the way things are or should be...from the beginning? what did he do from the beginning which made you not fond of him from the get go? And why forever? In my family extended family there has been sexual abuse too, but I don't see this poem going in that direction
The poem tells us the connection, the sharing. trust...so with that stanza left in, the whole poem doesn't make sense.
Sometimes readers see things which may not have been your intent. But if you look at it their way, like an abstract reader a million miles away, you sometimes can see what they mean..
..
Catherine
5 years 7 months ago
Thank you
I will make sure to make it sound less harsh...hope to get more critiques from you for my further poems.