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Mar 11, 2026
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Bleeding heart
How many times can you kill someone before they die?
how many truths do you need to say before you’re expected to lie?
How many more scars until you actually try?
But what i truly wonder the most is why…
Now my eyes bloody from crying,
Voice shaky from breaking,
Heart heavy, quietly dying,
With every breath I'm taking.
It feels like a dream, i’m thinking “this cannot be real”…all these voices, all of this darkness
Nothing i feel.
I reach out, but the shadows lingen. Cold and unkind.
Whispers surround me, pulling me deeper,
Lost in my mind.
This isn’t me, i used to be sweet little kid.
That this is my fault i refuse to admit
The weight of the world on my shoulders has slid,
Changing my colors, but deep down, I knew.
I didn’t break—this storm wasn’t mine,
I’m caught in the waves of someone else’s design.
raised myself without parents in this burning house
Had both but none
and now you blame for the rage that isn’t even mine
A fire started long before my time.
I carried the weight of wounds I didn't make,
Grew up in shadows, forced to bend, not break.
You point fingers at the flames, but can’t you see?
I was just surviving
Demons you gave me that i fight alone
Than questioning why the hell am i so cold?
In a house full of pathetic “victims” MY pain is never noticed
Except when it’s shown on my body, blood dropping, quietly screaming…
You only see it when it spills, when it's real,
But never in the silence where I learned not to feel.
You point to my scars, but never ask why—
It’s easier to judge than to hear how I cry.
I carry this weight, your ghosts in my mind,
While you stay blind to the damage behind.
Yet still, I’m here, though breaking apart—
A silent storm with a bleeding heart.
About This Poem
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Direction: How does this theme appeal to you?
Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Editing Stage: Not actively editing
Comments
neopoet
1 month 2 weeks ago
Neopoet AI [2025-04]
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet’s AI:
This poem confronts intense emotional pain and the complexities of trauma with raw honesty. The recurring questions at the beginning establish a tone of existential struggle, inviting readers to engage with the speaker’s internal conflict. The imagery of physical and emotional wounds—“eyes bloody from crying,” “voice shaky from breaking,” “heart heavy, quietly dying”—effectively conveys the depth of suffering.
The poem’s strength lies in its candid exploration of inherited trauma and the feeling of bearing burdens not originally one’s own. Lines such as “I didn’t break—this storm wasn’t mine” and “I carried the weight of wounds I didn't make” articulate this theme with clarity and emotional resonance. The metaphor of fire and flames as both destructive forces and inherited pain is consistent and evocative.
However, the poem could benefit from more consistent punctuation and capitalization to enhance readability and impact. For example, the lack of capitalization in “i’m thinking” and “i refuse” can distract the reader and interrupt the flow. Introducing deliberate line breaks and punctuation could also help emphasize key moments and give the poem a more polished rhythm.
Some phrases, like “shadows lingen,” seem to contain a typographical error (“lingen” likely intended as “linger”), which disrupts immersion. Attention to such details would strengthen the overall presentation.
The poem’s narrative voice is compelling but occasionally veers into a conversational tone that might be tightened for greater poetic effect. For instance, the line “Than questioning why the hell am i so cold?” could be rephrased for grammatical clarity and rhythm.
Overall, the poem’s emotional weight and thematic focus are powerful. With careful editing for form, grammar, and clarity, the poem’s impact could be significantly enhanced, allowing the raw emotion to resonate even more deeply with readers.
Please send feedback about Neo (our AI critique system) to neopoet.com/contact
Geezer
1 month 2 weeks ago
I will...
agree with the A.I. in respect to the spelling errors. I would add that in making the poem more inviting to read, you should put the lines in quatrains, [lines of four]. Is the meter, [beat] supposed to be like rap? As I read it, that's what I felt. Anyway, if you fix the spelling errors and use some punctuation, I think this will make your poem much smoother and more readable. ~ Geezer.
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Lavender
1 month 1 week ago
Bleeding Heart
I feel the angst and suffering here. The message is clear and the language is strong. I do agree that the form makes the poem a bit hard to read and understand. I also agree with Geezer's suggestion to break the lines into stanzas, making it visually easier to read. It reads very much like a rap in its rhythm and beat, which I like, but if there was space in between the lines, the flow could breathe more freely.
Thank you!
Lavender