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Mar 04, 2026
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The Beekeeper
For who knows how many flowers
the bee shall visit to produce a lump of honey- I was thus paraphrasing Upaniṣadas on my walk in suburbs of my city for very long time.
The city surrounded by wineyards
for centuries kept secrets of fallen
Martyrs of Love.
I was trully in love and still am
"to die is not so easy", said to me
The Beekeeper who lived alone
by human but listened for ages
the zooming of the bees
and their kingdom taught him the value of sacrifice, yet he knew nothing about their boustrophedon style.
About This Poem
Style/Type: Structured: Western
Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft
Comments
neopoet
1 month 2 weeks ago
Neopoet AI [2025-04]
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet’s AI:
This poem explores themes of love, sacrifice, and the search for meaning through the metaphor of beekeeping and references to spiritual texts. The opening lines employ a meditative tone, invoking the Upaniṣads, which sets a philosophical frame. The image of the bee visiting countless flowers to produce honey is effective in suggesting the accumulation of experience or wisdom through repeated, perhaps even arduous, effort.
The shift from the abstract to the personal—walking in the suburbs, the city surrounded by vineyards—grounds the poem in a specific setting. The mention of "Martyrs of Love" introduces a layer of historical or mythic resonance, though the connection between these martyrs and the speaker's own love could be clarified for greater impact.
The introduction of the Beekeeper as a character adds narrative interest. The Beekeeper's solitude and communion with bees serve as a metaphor for a life dedicated to a calling, possibly at the cost of human connection. The line "to die is not so easy" is intriguing, suggesting endurance or the difficulty of letting go, but its placement and attribution could be clarified—does the Beekeeper say this directly to the speaker, or is it a remembered phrase?
The poem's language is at times imprecise ("trully" should be "truly"; "zooming" likely intends "buzzing" or "hum"), which can distract from the intended effect. The phrase "by human but listened for ages" is syntactically unclear and could benefit from revision for clarity. The final image of the bees' "boustrophedon style" (a reference to a writing style that alternates direction) is intriguing but underdeveloped; it is mentioned that the Beekeeper "knew nothing" of it, but the significance of this ignorance is not fully explored.
Overall, the poem would benefit from greater syntactic clarity, more precise diction, and a stronger development of its central metaphors. The philosophical and emotional stakes are present, but the connections between the various elements—spiritual searching, love, sacrifice, and the bees' mysterious ways—could be more explicitly articulated to enhance coherence and resonance.
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Geezer
1 month 2 weeks ago
I think this...
chronicles the story of a man who walks through a town with thousands of bees clinging to his arm; meaning to transfer them to a new hive.
"I was trully in love and still am
"to die is not so easy", said to me
The Beekeeper who lived alone
[by human but] and listened for ages
to the zooming of the bees".
Only one L in truly.
This is how I would write this passage.
I was truly in love and still am.
To die is not easy, said the Beekeeper,
who lived alone; and listened for ages
to the zooming of the bees. Try to keep the syntax. ~ Geezer.
.
Sen99
1 month 2 weeks ago
The Beekeeper
Interesting story and metaphor, nice word choices .
Wonder if any poetry was scribed in the boustrophedon style ?
Thanks for share
Sen99