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At Arm's Length
Without absorbing too much time
I've a mindset way, too stuck;
I've seen reality bite much, harder
than it's second cousin, "luck".
I've seen pagans stop, and pause to pray
wishing the day was gone, and done;
myself, I'd merely float high in the sky
where I'd burn forever, in your "sun".
Plus, I wouldn't have it any other way
it's all good, it just plain, must be;
for, I'd spend forever and a day
if you'd please save the last dance, for me.
I'm but a slave to my emotions
though, for this life I'd never crave;
were it not for how I feel about you
I'd have no trouble, trying to behave!
So, when this "gig" is finally, over
and we disperse, independantly;
you're heart will see my right hand out
so, save that last dance....for me!
About This Poem
Style/Type: Structured: Western
Review Request Direction:
How was my language use?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - draft
Comments
William Saint George
13 years 10 months ago
Hey!
I should say i loved this poem. It kept bouncing off from beginning to end, with just a few hitches, but I'm sure the others can help iron stuff out.
I thought a little typo got through there: Independently.
A great short poem. But can you help me out with the title? I'm having a bit of a difficulty relating it to the poem.
Thanks.
docmaverick
13 years 10 months ago
Thanx, Sir William....
...about my title; it has to do with, asking one to dance with you, or shaking one's hand....you're always at an "arm's length"...from the individual. Ya know?
At any rate, I greatly appreciate your taking the time to both read, AND commenting. Thanx, soo very much.
Sincerely,
docmaverick.
William Saint George
13 years 10 months ago
Thanks
for helping out with that *raises hat to you*
docmaverick
13 years 10 months ago
You, Sir William...
...are indeed, quite welcome.
doc.