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Dec 05, 2015
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angelic love
When two angels love
Gentle soft and smooth,
as roses petals
one would wish
were placed in ones basket of love daily
by friends equally lovely
I am that fish
with a mermaids stance
face is worthy of many a glance
My mane like a horse's
and my figure stout
on horseback with a hat on
when I am out
Then as I swim
like a mermaid too
without a bikini
wonder how.... would you
Life is a melody of much hue
when someone is in love
with someone anew
— lovedly, Dec 05, 2015
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About This Poem
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Rough draft
Critiques
Sparrow
10 years 7 months ago
Loved
Saw a girl in a pub once and her hair was a beaut red colour and she had the face of an Angel, so I was forced to write a short piece for her:-
A Feeling
If a mermaid were to break the surface of the sea
Regain her legs and walk with me
I would think of you..
Your piece could be a lot more descriptive, or is it the feelings that you have missed out, not sure it pulled then juddered, maybe a few small changes..
Take care young Bard,
Yours Ian..
lovedly
10 years 7 months ago
yeah a gal wanted it
you know what
smart man Ian
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