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Alstatian
Twas a dark and bitter night
My breath froze in front of me
Droplets scarring the snow below
Just a little further to go
With each step, I paused
Only to hear footfalls behind
Slowly I turned, but no one was there
A cold breeze circled and raised every hair
Suddenly the moon grew eerily bright
A silhouette drifted from its silver strands
As it weaved throughout the trees
I held my breath, hoping it wouldn't see
Slowly it approached, donning a star pelt
Glittering, its tail embraced.me, pulling me close
I felt its dead breath, cold and rank
Claws running curiously down my flank
I opened my mouth to speak
But it silenced me, as it changed
Now before me stood a man
Holding out his hand
Entranced, I accepted his invite
And to the star clad sky we went
I saw the world through colorless eyes
His rise, fall and catastrophic demise
Once upon a time, he had been somebody
Now trapped in an unfamiliar world
When we were done, he returned me
I wondered if he would now let me be
Very gently, he leaned forward
And grazed my cheek
Then he turned and let out a howl
Before fading away
For a moment, I was paralyzed
Wondering why he chose to share with me
I hadnt asked his name, though I wished I had
Then very softly, something whispered, 'Alstatian'
About This Poem
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Hannah Moonlark
5 years 8 months ago
Hi
I like this poem. Very good job.
lonlyhrtsclub13
5 years 8 months ago
Thank you
The poem will be displayed in tonight's Chat on the Dark side hope to see you there.
lonlyhrtsclub13
5 years 8 months ago
Thank you
For your kind words and critique. The poem will be displayed in tonight's Chat on the dark side. Hope to see you there.
Geezer
5 years 8 months ago
Just one criticism...
Balmy makes one think of [warm] not cold and frosty. Suggest you change it to cold, freezing etc. ~ Gee.
.
lonlyhrtsclub13
5 years 8 months ago
Thanks Gee
Will make the change
Edna Sweetlove
5 years 8 months ago
What is..
...an Alstation?
.
lonlyhrtsclub13
5 years 8 months ago
Alstatian
Is what the British call a German Shepherd Dog, per my research on the name. In this poem, it is the name of the spirit.
Edna Sweetlove
5 years 8 months ago
No!
You mean an Alsatian! (i.e a dog from Alsace, a part of French which is partly German-speaking and to which Germany laid claim.
!!!!!
.
.
lonlyhrtsclub13
5 years 8 months ago
Thank you
For the clarification. The article I read was wrong and even misspelled the name
Edna Sweetlove
5 years 8 months ago
Might it not...
...be a good idea to correct the title to avoid confusing anyone else?
lonlyhrtsclub13
5 years 8 months ago
It could simply be taken
As a character name. When I wrote prose my characters had unusual names with no real meaning
Edna Sweetlove
5 years 8 months ago
A bit like...
...calling a Pekinese a Pookinose? Or a Dalmatian a Dillmoron?
.