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After being scammed...
about six to many times
I uninstalled zangi and telegram
for the particular
reason (of course) sometimes
with the deliberate
intent choosing words,
wherefore each one
at the end of a statement rhymes
(yours truly - the writer arbitrarily
determines where that
petty coat junction occurs
within a sentence fragment,
describing green acres)
which break off point then primes
me able, eager,
willing and ready
to communicate unfortunately
impossible mission to convey
within the preferred opus operandi
donning the guise
and silently trumpeting
and channeling the spirit
how Marcel Marceau mimes
(unless we - thee
the reader and me the poet)
arrange a facetime
or zoom session,
and I could add the incentive
heavily worn away legal tender
courtesy one of many persons
named (from all walks of life) Peter Grimes,
whose countless fingers
who bore witness from payee
to payer (or visa versa)
videre licet from so many dimes
exchanging hands maybe
even said coins
palmed off linkedin with persons,
who committed major crimes.
Unlike supposed charities
(none of which
I donate one red cent)
nickel and dimed me to death
though not of a violent disposition,
I wanted a fight to foment
like a raging red bull
with murderous intent
amazing dragons even leant
a claw like hand reached
on my shoulder and sent potent
shock of electricity
that diffused poker anger
at myself hot spent
witnessed smoke issuing
from nostrils and ears
as I did fast and furiously did vent
forever upending
yours truly experiencing zent
(sometimes used colloquially
to mean a state of calm,
peacefulness, or being "zen)."
What counted as the deal breaker
came by way of an older daughter
who claimed she
got scammed courtesy Telegraph
and advised me ipso facto pronto,
which yours truly uninstalled
from both the
Safe-link Samsung phone
and the Galaxy S23 issued
free of charge predicated
on the contractual obligations
to maintain text and talk service
for stipulated number of months,
(which I cannot recall offhand).
Even accepting friend
requests from Facebook
so casually will be left
for my sixth sense
to assess whether
the person in question
appears to be a questionable character
such as a schlemazel
(like me - ha) or crook
once again I attest
to minor (for a hearth of gold)
forging signature on retirement checks
addressed to Sylvia Zison
while holed away
within close proximity to an inglenook
at 1148 Greentree Lane,
a Norwegian Bachelor farmer who forsook
maintaining a bourgeois look
(essentially living in destitution
along the MainLine),
cuz I accused
yours truly of self betrayal
analogous to the Grinch,
who thought he stole Christmas
and away off with all the trappings
of Whoville he snook
located at the foot of Mount Crumpit.
As surreal as Lake Wobegon
and based it on the real-life towns
and landscapes of
Stearns County, Minnesota,
where the Lake Wobegon Trail
now located, linking communities
like Sauk Centre, Avon, and Holdingford.
In a sense Sites like Zangi
and Telegram are called
secure messaging apps,
which term used because
these applications known
for prioritizing security and privacy
inviting a slew of software developer
or software engineers.
About This Poem
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft
Comments
neopoet
4 months 2 weeks ago
Neopoet AI [2025-04]
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet’s AI:
This poem undertakes a complex, sprawling meditation on digital distrust, personal experience, and the frustrations of modern communication. The stream-of-consciousness style and fragmented syntax evoke a sense of disorientation that mirrors the poet’s experience with scams and technological alienation. This approach effectively conveys the emotional turbulence and cognitive overload involved.
Strengths lie in the vivid, often unexpected imagery—such as “amazing dragons even leant / a claw like hand” and the allusion to Marcel Marceau’s mime artistry—which enrich the poem’s texture and invite multiple interpretations. The interweaving of personal anecdote with cultural references (e.g., Lake Wobegon, the Grinch) broadens the poem’s scope and grounds its abstract themes in recognizable touchstones.
However, the poem’s density and syntactical complexity sometimes hinder clarity and reader engagement. The frequent enjambments, parenthetical asides, and shifts in tone can make it difficult to follow the narrative thread or grasp the emotional core. For example, the section describing “petty coat junction” and rhyming within sentence fragments, while inventive, may distract from the poem’s thematic focus rather than enhance it.
Consider tightening the structure to balance the free-flowing style with moments of clearer, more focused expression. This could involve breaking the poem into more distinct stanzas or sections, each centered on a particular image or idea, to provide the reader with navigable entry points. Clarifying the relationship between the poet’s personal experiences and the broader commentary on digital security would also strengthen the poem’s impact.
Additionally, the poem occasionally shifts abruptly between colloquial and formal diction (“ipso facto pronto” vs. “none of which / I donate one red cent”), which can be jarring. A more consistent tonal register or deliberate contrast might help unify the voice.
In summary, the poem’s ambition and imaginative reach are notable, but refining its organization and linguistic clarity would enhance its communicative power and emotional resonance.
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