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Apr 08, 2020
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2020
A day like never before
Just bloomed
Fresh and new
The beauty it held
Was not like yesterday
But the future…
Hopes and dreams shattered
The days of life
No longer
Each in isolation
The lovely infection
Corrupting all generations
Trying to find a cure
Each country in war
Some souls far gone
This venomous truth
Giving humanity
A piece of reality
Showing sides never seen
Kindness abandoned
Ignorance soaring
Each in isolation
The lovely infection
Corrupting all generations
Eyes showing fears
Voices hesitant
Our bodies now powerless
A being reborn
Different from other immoral
But similar to hell’s creation
About This Poem
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Geezer
5 years 7 months ago
I see where...
where you are trying to go with this poem; but I think you lost me at the personification of the day. Almost as though there are two beings instead of one. A bit confusing. I get the picture, but it's blurred. ~ Geezer.
.
Catherine
5 years 7 months ago
ohhh okay...thankyou.
ohhh okay...thankyou.