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Gold

Posted Aug 4, 2026 · 15 lines · 10 critiques

My heart is bleeding.

Can you see it?

Blood drips slowly

Pieces torn apart

Can you feel it?

It weighs heavily

Cracks rip apart

Can you hear it?

My eyes sweat

Only dry tears.

Can you touch it?

Shay

Shay Roberts’s timeline

August 2026
04 Tue

Received a critique
on Gold from @alicespagnol7
"I have no idea how the title relate to the subject, I couldn't link it so maybe make that conection more explicit, it reads as obscure right now. You don't give us any context for the heart to be bleading, it also says…"
04 Tue

Received a critique
on Gold from @TheWanderer78
"The feelings the piece is trying to express are clear, but it's declaring them more than describing them. The emotions would be more poignant if you connected the reader to the sound of dripping blood, the feel of piece…"
04 Tue

Received a critique
on Gold from @Geezer
"on the way to looking at the cracks to see if they were ripping. I would opt for [wounds, seams, scars, but cracks?] [Gold?] Where is the gold? ~ Geezer."
04 Tue

First publication
Gold
04 Tue

Posted a poem
Gold
"My heart is bleeding. "
Open thread 15 lines
04 Tue

Joined Neopoet
Membership begins

First poem published 1 days later.

Gold

on Gold from @alicespagnol7

on Gold from @TheWanderer78

on Gold from @Geezer

Gold

Gold

Membership begins

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