mental health

Have you ever feat so alone that the world becomes grey and colorless. I struggle with mental health and believe everybody that has a similar story understands how hard life can be. I recently made a vow to myself to be more courage's and stop fearing the unknown. Writing has helped me clarify That the feelings of doubt and worthlessness are all in my head; sometimes it feels physical too.
I'm going to talk about what helped me through addiction and thoughts of just ending it all. I have a twin brother who does not suffer the same ailment so i feel alone sometimes, There was a fork in the road i went left he went right. My point is one decision can determine the outcome of your life. Finally i was diagnosed has bi-polar and had learned that my substance abuse was self medication...I was drinking everyday and life spiraled out of control. Long story short I'm on the right medication and life has been slowly improving. To wrap things up, If you feel like somethings wrong seek help. It took me too long to realize the many faults and mistakes that molded the person I am today. You don't need to suffer and if you are i truly understand your anger and pain. I always was fascinated with psychology and human behavior. I step in when people make fun of the homeless and mentally ill.so i make this statement now...I lost to many friends and people i loved to addiction, its a disease and I know sometimes it feels impossible and you want to quit. I'm not telling anybody how to live there life Because I'm still figuring out my life. Fight for your life like your life depended on it because it does. Trauma does not go away unfortunately but for me i let those demons slip trough my hands like sand falling trough my fingers, I just let it go and forgive the evil of the world instead of having bitter hatred; hating someone with all your heart destroys your very own. We are just fragments in this vast universe. sometimes thinking about how small we really are it helps me grow mentally because we are but tiny fragments in a vast universe. My struggle will never be over, but in the grand scheme we really are just ants in an ant pile. Love your brothers and sisters trends dictate who you really are; were all star dust and eventually we all fade away. like the song "dust in the wind." with the tools i know been given I've lost weight and finally feel like this life is worth living. For to long dark thoughts plagued my mind, I shouldn't be alive between the substances and accidents. Some intentional since I'm being honest; suicide affected my family, so my thoughts on mental health be courage's and tell them ghost haunting you to fuck off....Life is funny because without the suffering what would we have. Nothing because without suffering you truly cant be happy. So that's my thoughts on mental health and i wish you all happy thoughts and memorable dreams. Stay healthy my mental health warriors be brave and never waiver from what you know is right. I hope my message Reaches someone in need; it wasn't easy to unburden my heavy heart. goodnight and have a splendid life, Remember don't say your humble practice humility and stay safe.