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TP

The Poet In The Pub

Member since July 10, 2023

Member for 2 years, 10 months

member

8 Poems

5 Comments

1 Follower

Most recent

SON2FATHER

Posted Aug 23, 2023 · 29 lines · 1 critiques

Don't cry Daddy, you should be more tough
Don't cry Daddy, you're acting like a puff
Don't cry Daddy just because she called you names
Don't cry Daddy, you should be ashamed!

Don't cry Daddy, cause she thought she had more class
I'd have slapped her 'round the head or fucked her in the ass
Don't cry Daddy cause she thought you were a slob
It must've been years since she last sucked your knob

Don't cry Daddy about the money that you spent
You'll get better value every time you pay the rent
Don't cry Daddy, that she got on her bike
You can now get a hooker at any time you like!

Don't cry Daddy, you're the Lord of your own health
Next time you buy cocaine, it's only for yourself

Read the rest of the poem Show less

Don't cry Daddy cause I wouldn't shed a tear
Now each time you go out you can drink a bit more beer!

Don't cry Daddy, about your broken dreams
You can go on holiday and NOT go to museums!
Don't cry Daddy, about her spoken words
Now you needn't worry about your floating turds

Don't cry Daddy, these are your Golden Times
This must've saved you a lot more worry lines
She really should've thought when she didn't drop her drawers
Now you can have a skunk farm and your pension will be yours!

Don't cry Daddy, it's a blessing in disguise
You're acting like a pussy, when you should be the prize
Marriage breakdown isn't the disaster that it seems
Why don't you just go out and buy some Contact Magazines?

copyright Phil Atherton 2019.

The Poet In The Pub’s timeline

July 2024
10 Wed

Anniversary
One year of membership
April 2024
21 Sun

New follower
@mark
November 2023
28 Tue

Received a critique
on DRACULA AT THE SEASIDE from @Lamington
"I have a friend who is convinced she is a vampire. I know i certainly enjoy her love bites."
August 2023
23 Wed

Posted a poem
SON2FATHER
"Don't cry Daddy, you should be more tough"
Open thread 29 lines
21 Mon

Posted a poem
DRACULA AT THE SEASIDE
"DRACULA AT THE SEASIDE"
Open thread 32 lines
20 Sun

Posted a poem
JESUS, ELVIS AND ME
"JESUS, ELVIS, and ME"
Open thread 34 lines
15 Tue

Highest posting month
August 2023 — 5 poems
14 Mon

Received a critique
on THE COMMON PURPOSE LULLABY from @Ruby Lord
"Congratulations on winning the poem of the week contest. Well deserved. Ruby :)"
11 Fri

Contest commendation
Neopoem Of The Week August 6th to August 11th

with "THE COMMON PURPOSE LULLABY".
11 Fri

First contest commendation
Neopoem Of The Week August 6th to August 11th

with the poem "THE COMMON PURPOSE LULLABY".
10 Thu

Received a critique
on THE COMMON PURPOSE LULLABY from @Ruby Lord
"OMG that was fantastic, great job, Ruby :)"
09 Wed

Posted a poem
THE COMMON PURPOSE LULLABY
"Oozing smooth through velvet pores"
Open thread 21 lines
04 Fri

Received a critique
on AT THE SAWMILLS from @Geezer
"I see the resemblance to the old Mad Magazine. Kind of a Rube Goldberg chain of events. Funny stuff, Killer loved it. ~ Geezer. ."
04 Fri

Received a critique
on AT THE SAWMILLS from @Alex Tanner
"I loved this, it made me think of that wonderful 'Mad' Magazine cartoonist Don Martin. I saw it as he would have drawn it. There is a wonderful site and facebook page that shows a lot of his work. Alex"
04 Fri

Received a critique
on AT THE SAWMILLS from @Ruby Lord
"When the AI says, It is not feasible to offer feedback on this poem, what he is actually saying is, he doesn't understand satire, parody and lacks humour. I thought this was great, it reads well, made me laugh, the shoc…"
03 Thu

Posted a poem
AT THE SAWMILLS
"It happened suddenly on that day anew"
Open thread 39 lines
July 2023
12 Wed

Posted a poem
A SUPERHERO NAMED 'POOPSY'
"It seems a strange name, yet he claimed his fame"
Open thread 29 lines
11 Tue

Posted a poem
ME AND WOODBINE WILLIE
"ME AND WOODBINE WILLIE"
Open thread 34 lines
11 Tue

Received a critique
on KERNEL BOGEY from @Geezer
"a bouncy piece of limericnal, [I made that word up]! But that is what this sounds like to me, a bunch of limericks tied together in one poem. An amusing, bloody tale told by The Poet In The Pub. Nicely done, I do believ…"
10 Mon

First publication
KERNEL BOGEY
10 Mon

Posted a poem
KERNEL BOGEY
"They were enjoying a festival"
Open thread 41 lines
10 Mon

Joined Neopoet
Membership begins

First poem published 1 days later.

About Me

About me

Irreverent poet, the Pioneer Of Outpatient Vaudeville.

Location: Co Durham, England, UK

Favorite Poets

Tom Lehrer

Sloppy Seconds.

Recent Work

AI. Could it create on its own compound terms like 'bumchum'?

Posted: 23 August, 2023

SON2FATHER

Posted: 23 August, 2023

DRACULA AT THE SEASIDE

Posted: 21 August, 2023

JESUS, ELVIS AND ME

Posted: 20 August, 2023

THE COMMON PURPOSE LULLABY

Posted: 9 August, 2023

AT THE SAWMILLS

Posted: 3 August, 2023

A SUPERHERO NAMED 'POOPSY'

Posted: 12 July, 2023

ME AND WOODBINE WILLIE

Posted: 11 July, 2023

ME AND WOODBINE WILLIE. Feedback appreciated!

Posted: 11 July, 2023

Updated: 29 May, 2025

KERNEL BOGEY

Posted: 10 July, 2023

>> View all work

Contest Wins

Winning Submission	Contest	Contest Date
THE COMMON PURPOSE LULLABY	Neopoem Of The Week August 6th to August 11th	6 August, 2023 – 11 August, 2023

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