paul Bartoswicz

Member since August 8, 2023

Member for 2 years, 9 months

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11 Poems

26 Comments

1 Follower

Most recent

War Into Homes

Posted Sep 29, 2023 · 27 lines · 3 critiques

Scarcely few remember
Those horrifying scenes
The six o'clock news
Broadcast in our living rooms
The horror of it all
Blood drenched stretchers
Million mile stares
The terror in their eyes
A war long gone by
Brought to us in living color
War had seemed so remote
Fought in faraway places
Until a place far away
Called the Nam

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Body counts on the news
Fathers, sons, and brothers
Lovers, husbands, friends
Never to come home
Names carved deep upon the wall
A war brought home
For us to see
In full color
Right in the living room
Flagged draped caskets
Taken off the plane
On their final march
Toward eternal peace?

paul Bartoswicz’s timeline

March 2026
27 Fri

New follower
@Lavender
August 2024
08 Thu

Anniversary
One year of membership
September 2023
30 Sat

Received a critique
on War Into Homes from @Lavender
"Hello, Paul, Yes, the count was announced every single night. It was horrible - real and unreal at the same time. It also was very personal and brought the pain and suffering directly into our homes. A respectful poem…"
29 Fri

Posted a poem
War Into Homes
"Scarcely few remember"
Open thread 27 lines
18 Mon

Received a critique
on Solitude from @Lavender
"Hello, Paul, Oh, my gosh. "Life is old there..." What an inviting and comforting thought. For me, that line and the title are so very soulful. I'd be tempted to change "you / your" to "me / my." This poem feels that pre…"
18 Mon

Received a critique
on Solitude from @Geezer
"good, fitting the theme. Your language use is conducive to a silent night standing under a star studded sky. Sailors on the sea, have been privileged to look upon a sky as black as coal and sprinkled with silver dust sp…"
18 Mon

Posted a poem
Solitude
"There was nothing"
Open thread 25 lines
15 Fri

Highest posting month
September 2023 — 6 poems
14 Thu

Received a critique
on Encroaching Fall from @Lavender
"Hello, Paul, After a long drive in the countryside today, with red leaves just beginning to show themselves, and now, sitting in a sweatshirt as temps fall this evening - I can really relate to this lovely poem. I belie…"
14 Thu

Posted a poem
Encroaching Fall
"Days are cooling fast"
Open thread 22 lines
14 Thu

Critiqued
"Old Ford" by @Lavender
"A good read as always Lavender. Your poems hit a chord with me. Your description of the truck, I think about vehicles all the time when I drive by a yard that has a rusting body of a vehicle, I wonder what history it ha…"
06 Wed

Received a critique
on Laundry from @Lavender
"Hello, Paul, I think you have the beginning of a really lovely haiku. There is something very nostalgic in hand washing and line drying laundry. Any way to bring in a bit of nature? The sunshine, or wind, or perhaps the…"
06 Wed

Posted a poem
Laundry
"Washing clothes by hand,"
Open thread 3 lines
06 Wed

Critiqued
"The Guy With The Stick" by @Lavender
"Very Creative"
04 Mon

Received a critique
on The Sailor from @Geezer
"a Navy man, if not a Sailor? That's where everyone starts off, as a "Sailor". I would look for another word to replace [behold]. in use, it is "Behold, I have come" or as "It was a sight to behold, not as behold us. ~Ge…"
04 Mon

Posted a poem
The Sailor
"To feel the rhythmic pulse"
Open thread 61 lines
01 Fri

Critiqued
"Conversing With A Vending Machine" by @Lavender
"Takes me back to my days in the Navy, where many meals came from vending machines, how I hated them but loved them at the same time, grabbing a quick meal at the military airlift command (MAC) while crisscrossing the co…"
01 Fri

Received a critique
on Effingham Sky from @Lavender
"Hello, Paul, A full day's view of the beautiful Effingham sky. That would be like never-ending poetry. I love the peaceful feeling here, and the sense of movement in the sky. Lovely imagery. The only line that tripped m…"
01 Fri

Critiqued
"When I Awoke And Sensed The Nearing Day" by @Lavender
"I often wake early in the morning and feel this way as the sun edges up over the mountain in front of my house"
01 Fri

Posted a poem
Effingham Sky
"I stand in my field"
Open thread 39 lines
01 Fri

Critiqued
"Clouds" by @Clentin
"A very short concise poem that instills the feeling looking at the sky"
01 Fri

Critiqued
"My Dreams" by @Clentin
"My sentiments exactly, it truly speaks to me"
August 2023
31 Thu

Received a critique
on An American Sailor from @Alex Tanner
"You may be interested to know that my late father in law was on the bridge of the Effingham when she ran aground at Narvik. He was a young signalman. Although not generally known, though rumoured among the crew, when sh…"
30 Wed

Posted a poem
An American Sailor
"We were titans of iron,"
Open thread 55 lines
30 Wed

Critiqued
"FOOD PLOT" by @scribbler
"Brings back memories of plowing the field with the old 8N. My body is to beat up now to do it anymore, but I loved those days"
29 Tue

Posted a poem
Alone On The Mountain Peak
"I start out"
Open thread 75 lines
25 Fri

Posted a poem
The Winter's Wood
"The wood is here"
Open thread 42 lines
11 Fri

Critiqued
"Grandmothers of Generations Past " by @Clentin
"I love the feeling of the poem. It reminds me of my grandmother and the wisdom she bestowed upon me. Brings me back to simpler times. Keep it up"
10 Thu

First critique offered
on "Hidden" by @Lavender
10 Thu

Posted a poem
You Looked At Me
"You looked at me"
Open thread 38 lines
08 Tue

First publication
The Passing
08 Tue

Posted a poem
The Passing
"Ever since I can remember,"
Open thread 39 lines
08 Tue

Joined Neopoet
Membership begins

First poem published 1 days later.

About Me

About me

I am a writer, dreamer, romantic who pines for the simpler times when we actually communicated who loves to write poetry. Naval Officer from 1980 to 1990 Proud member of the Amphibious fleet. Father to 3 daughters and have 1 grandson and 1 granddaughter on the way. Retired on June 27th 2023 and trying to pursue my poetry further, At the behest of my daughters I have self published 5 books. I don't know how good others think they are, but I like them

Location: NH, USA

Favorite Poets

Robert Frost

Walt Whittman

Emily Dickinson

Longfellow

>> View all work

Contest Wins

This member has not yet won any contests.

Workshops

Followed By

Lavender

One year of membership

on War Into Homes from @Lavender

on Solitude from @Lavender

on Solitude from @Geezer

September 2023 — 6 poems

on Encroaching Fall from @Lavender

"Old Ford" by @Lavender

on Laundry from @Lavender

"The Guy With The Stick" by @Lavender

on The Sailor from @Geezer

"Conversing With A Vending Machine" by @Lavender

on Effingham Sky from @Lavender

"When I Awoke And Sensed The Nearing Day" by @Lavender

"Clouds" by @Clentin

"My Dreams" by @Clentin

on An American Sailor from @Alex Tanner

"FOOD PLOT" by @scribbler

"Grandmothers of Generations Past " by @Clentin

on "Hidden" by @Lavender

Membership begins

About Me

Recent Work

Contest Wins

Workshops

Followed By