Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

Geremia

Apr 19, 2012 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

SHATTERED HEART

SHATTERED HEART

A sudden gust
of Winter wind
icy cold
took my breath away.
and my heart began to shatter
with each lie
your caress told.

I felt the sting of your
loveless kiss.
its poison seized
my soul.
and I was forever lost
to this world.

About This Poem

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Country/Region: USA

More from this author

Comments

14 years ago

I see an attempt at Japanese profundity

but the logic doesn't work.

Why the fuck should you burn?
Saying the wind took your words away is un-accountable.

14 years ago

P.S.

P.S.

I need time t w rk on this. I see where yu are right.

Joe
p.s.

And drop that "Japaese profundity" crap.

14 years ago

No such attempt. I did have a

No such attempt. I did have a Toyota once. .All metaphor:

You sddenly came ino my lfe lke a cold wniter wnd [aready a negaive
you reached me deep inside
and now I suffer for it [fires of Hell]

It's all about being "dumped"

thanks

joe

14 years ago

I don't treat you differently because of yout 'condition'

You are sometimes fucking brilliant, sometimes pathetic.

Alllow me to treat you as a poet, not a special case. You have talent way beyond the poets in this site.

14 years ago

Jess,I never expected

Jess,I never expected anything less from oyu but t ruth. And I appreciate it. You ae right here. and I need to unpublish this one and work on it. It is insipid.

Thanks,

Joe

14 years ago

Don'''''t fucking unpublish it! Work on it!

Despite my harnose, smoetimes cray, belligeret tineas at tinem I kne you knod ''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''' fs

My neice tried to burb=n doen a ooem of hersm I redcurf it snf uut zxxx z

Sometimes nonesence is brilliant. Run awat from those horible peopole whi li,if

14 years ago

I decided not to unpublidih

I decided not to unpublidih and did, in fact, re-write it.

Joe

14 years ago

Courage.

My utmost respect.

14 years ago

Same here, my friend.

Same here, my friend.

K

14 years ago

Sometimes a line is better in

Sometimes a line is better in the title than in the poem itself, Joe.

I would call the poem: "forever lost to this world" and let the last line be "your poison seized then froze my soul" or something of that nature.

~A

14 years ago

ok

ok