Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.
Jul 26, 2026
⭐ See this poem's read count — a supporter feature
Heart Drumming Against My Ribs
Heart Drumming Against My Ribs
Our breathing calmed.
We listened to the night sigh.
We lay bare, skin to skin.
Moments earlier found us
Entwined in a lover's knot,
Entangled in passion.
Now recovering,
His delicious taste and
His musky man scent
Captured me again,
As he wrapped me
In his arms.
Where I ended, he began,
Softening and spooning.
I turned to gaze into his eyes
Once more,
before we drifted off.
But a tide of need broke thru.
He was kissing my face.
I wondered, Does he want me again?
And suddenly,
I wanted him, too.
The salt of his skin,
The rhythm Of his breath,
His steady heart
Drumming against my ribs.
He was love personified- Divine.
Fast, yet passionate.
Insistent, yet gentle.
On the rise again.
Relentless.
He found me.
My quiet question
Caught in the dark-
"What are you doing?"
And he whispered,
His voice a soft,
Hushed vow:
"I'm loving you."
Such profound devotion,
So deeply caring was he,
We met: heart to heart.
— Kathy Nolte (K-T), Jul 26, 2026
Share this poem
About This Poem
Editing Stage: Final polish
Critiques
neopoet
2 weeks 6 days ago
Neopoet AI [2026-06]
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet’s AI:
The poem's strongest moment is its structural choice to begin in aftermath and then circle back into desire — that reversal gives the piece genuine momentum, and the closing exchange of dialogue earns its tenderness because it arrives after physical and emotional detail has accumulated. The title doing double duty as the poem's climactic image (his heart drumming against her ribs) is a quietly effective decision.
What holds the poem back is a reliance on familiar phrasing in places where specificity would create a more lasting impression. "Lover's knot," "entangled in passion," and "love personified" are phrases that arrive pre-worn; they tell the reader what to feel rather than creating the sensation freshly. The final tercet in particular — "Such profound devotion, / So deeply caring was he, / We met: heart to heart" — summarizes an emotion the poem has already enacted more vividly through touch and whispered dialogue, so it lands as redundant rather than conclusive. Cutting or replacing that stanza, and letting the whispered "I'm loving you" serve as the true close, would sharpen the poem's ending considerably and trust the imagery already present to carry the meaning.
Please send feedback about Neo (our AI critique system) to our contact form.
A.J. Sanders
2 weeks 6 days ago
Passionate
The layout and flow is amazing. The free-verse style played beautifully. At first I was wondering whether It would be "off" due to the "random" stanza lengths, but I was quick to realize there was nothing random about them. Rather than throw the flow off, they enhanced the emotion and depth. Overall? Excellent and enjoyable!
Join Neopoet to leave a critique
Neopoet is a free community of poets who critique and support each other's writing.