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Joy in the passing

Have you ever tasted blood?

One that's flowing through your veins,

That somehow, through the smallest cut

Which breaks the cycle, lets it escape

 

Do you know the element?

That's letting the flavor be born

And touches soft cells of your tongue

Through vessels ripped like with a thorn.

 

It can be born in just one place,

It can be born through death alone.

In the entire Universe -

- Only in dying star's core.

 

So next time when you bite your lip,

Think of that universal breath

And wonder how is that to live

Thanks to the brightest objects' death.

 

Find time to celebrate your life,

Through love, through beauty and through passion,

And sometimes think of what has died

For you to find joy in the passing.

— lykkeligere, Jul 11, 2026

About This Poem

Review Request Direction: How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Not actively editing

About the Author

Region, Country: Poland, POL

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Critiques

Whiskey and Ink

Whiskey and Ink

1 week 2 days ago

I love this. Your poem…

I love this. Your poem beautifully connects an intimate, visceral moment—tasting blood from a bitten lip—to the cosmic scale of dying stars creating the iron inside us. It has an incredible emotional hook, and it can be made even stronger just by smoothing out a few bumpy rhythms in the lines and replacing a couple of repeated words (like "born") to let the imagery truly flow.

But in all honesty, this is perfect. 

 

D. A. Piotrowski

D. A. Piotrowski

1 week 2 days ago

hahah, honestly it was a…

hahah, honestly it was a moment of my breakthrough, night after something that showed me the scale of the universe in a closed room of ten people with the wool between us.. I couldn't sleep and was biting my lip over it. and thought of how far that iron on my tongue has traveled. 

thank you so, so much, your opinion is so much for me, much love <3

A Hot Photon

A Hot Photon

1 week 2 days ago

Wow, what a theme to focus…

Wow, what a theme to focus on! Especially the last few lines, they really resonated with me. You have a handle on imagery. Love it. Maybe it can be smoothed over by handling line breaks better so some ideas can better get their spotlight. 

D. A. Piotrowski

D. A. Piotrowski

1 week 2 days ago

Thank you so much for your…

Thank you so much for your words. I have tendency to think of the cosmos since I was a kid, before I could even read hahah. so - I believe there'll be more of that topic in my creation

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