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Salt Pool
By June, the road had shed its winter salt.
It pooled where the last plowbank came apart.
A moose came through the alder, heavy, slow,
its knees gone black with roadside mud.
The ditch held winter past its proper use.
Blackflies worked the air around its ears.
Trucks kept passing, dragging heat and grit.
The yellow sign kept its black moose still.
Below it, the real one moved through grass:
not warning, but breath and wet hide,
bent low to drink the road from the ditch
while engines passed close enough to hear.
What saved the curve called hunger to the shoulder.
The moose lowered its head. The highway did not slow.
About This Poem
Style/Type: Structured: Western
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Final polish
Critiques
Whiskey and Ink
4 weeks 1 day ago
I don't have a critique, I…
I don't have a critique, I just love this.
This is a quiet, powerful and remarkably grounded poem.
As someone who writes dirty realism poetry, I love how it doesn't romanticize nature. The moose isn't majestic; its knees are muddy, blackflies are biting its ears, and it is drinking toxic runoff from a ditch. Yet, there is a profound dignity in its survival.
Fantastic piece of writing.
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