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This poem is part of the contest:

Neopoem of The Week 06/14/26 to 06/21/25

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A Stranger At Home

When June out melts the winter

My numb limbs comes warm

A hated feeling that connects me to my birth place

Where I no longer belong

The summer skies here burns my youth into ashes,

Ashes that you will find under a cementary 

This is a house, not a home anymore.

If my book turns to it last page, it has to end where I can find the house of my fantasies, where I can be buried under the grey cold skies of December, among those pale folks.

— Raine Vance (nellykhaled50), Jun 15, 2026

About This Poem

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Direction: How was the beginning/ending of the poem?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Draft

About the Author

Country/Region: EGY

More from this author

Critiques

Geezer

Geezer

2 months ago

A cold look...

at life through grey colored glasses. Keep writing, you are getting there. ~ Geezer. 

Whiskey and Ink

Whiskey and Ink

1 month 3 weeks ago

This is beautiful.​That line…

This is beautiful.

​That line right in the middle—'This is a house, not a home anymore'—is an absolute masterpiece of simplicity. It's so blunt, honest, and direct. You don't hide behind complicated words there; you just tell the raw truth of what it feels like to be a stranger in your own birthplace. It gives the reader an immediate gut punch of understanding.

​I also really loved the contrast you built between the burning June heat and your longing for the cold, grey December skies. It perfectly captures that deep ache of wanting to escape to a place where you finally feel like you belong.

​If I could offer one small spark of constructive feedback: your writing is at its absolute strongest when you trust your own direct, honest voice—like that incredible 'house/home' line. You have a real gift for tapping into raw human grief. Sometimes, using traditional metaphors (like a book turning its last page) can actually pull the reader away from how powerful your real, unedited feelings are. Don't be afraid to keep it as raw and grounded as possible, because your honest voice is beautiful.

​Thank you for putting a piece of yourself into this and sharing it. It's a really moving poem."

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