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docmaverick
docmaverick
Jul 18, 2010 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Auto Heart Repair

Truer words were never spoken,
purer motives never found;

I tried to heal a heart that's broken
from the hurt, in which 'twas bound.

Speaking simply, and directly
anyone can ease the binds;

that untangle, and set heartstrings, free
to relieve all troubled minds.

But, I've never had more troubles,
and as articulate, as I am;

I hate to burst your bubbles,
but, I couldn't speak worth a damn !

It was difficult to swallow
my big foot was in my mouth;

my train of thought, so hard to follow
that all logic soon went, south.

Public speaking done in private
is an art form I must, "hone";

because, I tried to mend a heart that
while still hurting.....'twas my own.
— docmaverick, Jul 18, 2010

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: The High Desert, in the wild west, southern California, U.S. of A.., USA

Favorite Poets: Keates, Poe, Dickinson, and Dr. Seuss. There are a smattering of others, but why bother listing 'em all, ya know?, I also rely on a few of our poets, here....for advice, and what not. I couldn't possibly explain what a fountain of live, effective knowledge we have...right here in our midst ! To catch a glimmer of brilliance, merely visit: the Stream.

More from this author

Critiques

A

Australad

15 years 10 months ago

Mechanics

Firstly I want to say that this is pretty good (the only quibble I have with it - and it is only a quibble - is that the use of the archaic "twas" grates on me a bit). I know it is useful in the rhythm and pace of the piece, so I'm not too bothered either way but I just thought I should let you know my feelings. Good work! David P.S. Don't let the fact that I have used the even more archaic "Twixt" and "tween" in my own poetry undermine my point; in my role as a critic it's a "do as I say, not what I do" moment, so feel free to ignore it if that is your wont!
docmaverick

docmaverick

15 years 10 months ago

I appreciate....

...your comments, David.....very much. Originally, the poem didn't have the word, "'twas"...but, for the reasons you gave, I had to incorperate it, twice. Glad you liked the piece, and thanx....again. "Write on"! sincerely, #{:-{)}8==== docmaverick.
R

raskin

15 years 10 months ago

I like your title and of

I like your title and of course your rhyme. Brings to mind heal thyself. Raskin
docmaverick

docmaverick

15 years 10 months ago

Raskin....

...thank-you for that. I really appreciated your taking the time to read, and comment ! Have a day, "Write on"! sincerely, #{:-{)}8==== docmaverick.
S

scribbler

15 years 10 months ago

repair

hey doc! Can't talk yourself out of love.good premise and good poem.Might try a coupla tweaks.delete"with" lines 10 and 14,change"that" to with line 16.regards.....scribbler
docmaverick

docmaverick

15 years 10 months ago

Always scribbling....

...and it's greatly appreciated, in this instance. With the edits made, I hope you'll see that it did enhance the "flow", if you will. Thanx again, for the assistance. "Write on"! sincerely, #{:-{)}8==== docmaverick.