Loreli

Jul 16, 2010 ⭐ See this poem's read count — a supporter feature

5:58 AM

Waking,
2 minutes
before
the alarm rings.
2 minutes
to dream
of you.

2 minutes
to wonder
how it would be
waking next to you.
2 minutes
to imagine
you were
truely mine.

2 minutes
before my day starts
and my fantasies
are through.
2 minutes
is all I need
to envision
my dreams
were true.

— Loreli, Jul 16, 2010

About the Author

Region, Country: Michigan/USA, USA

Critiques

faithmairee

16 years ago

Very Nice, Loreli

This poem is refreshingly unique. Your diction is good and the rhythm is great. I loved the ending. Nice work, Loreli! Love-Faith ~I never say anything I don't mean nor do I say anything to be mean.~

Loreli

16 years ago

Thank you so much Faith! I

Thank you so much Faith! I have really appreciated not only reading your work but your input on both poems I have posted.

jetz

16 years ago

Hi Loreli, I enjoyed this.

Hi Loreli, I enjoyed this. I think it might read better though if you changed the 2 to TWO. Also, truely should be truly. Welcome to Neo. Sue

Loreli

16 years ago

Thank you

Thank you for that....should have used spell check...LOL! Also thanks for the suggestion on the word two. Glad to be here....although somewhat anxious about submitting my writing I know it will only help me to be better from all of your suggestions! Thanks again Sue! Loreli

scribbler

16 years ago

A.M.

one minute is all it took for me to thoroughly enjoy this......scribbler

Loreli

16 years ago

YAY

Glad you enjoyed it! I actually wrote it in about one minute! Loreli

Lil Z

16 years ago

I like it!

Great write Loreli, your brilliance is most welcome!

Loreli

16 years ago

AWWWW

Wow...high praise,thanks for that wonderful compliment! Loreli

mona

16 years ago

wonderful

Waking, 2 minutes before the alarm rings. 2 minutes to dream of you. 2 minutes to wonder how it would be waking next to you. 2 minutes to imagine you were truely mine. 2 minutes before my day starts and my fantasies are through. 2 minutes is all I need to envision my dreams were true. Mona

Loreli

16 years ago

did something wrong

tried to change the 2 to Two and change a spelling error.... It didn't work so it was resubmitted as new with no changes! GRRRRRRR

xena465

16 years ago

Fantastic Loreli

Brilliant write the only thing I can see amiss is the spelling in this line... {truely} mine. ………[truly] Xena Quote: Science is what you know; philosophy is what you don't know. - Bertrand Russell

DawningDaytripper

16 years ago

They have it all said, you

They have it all said, you did great with this post. I think I will come back to read this again later, Julie D.D. Hello all, come and join us in Live chat! Meet n' greet, Neo night, lonely poems, teen night. We have something for everyone, come and meet your community!

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