Song: Suicide City

Down at suicide city, Null of pride and past all pity. Suicide city: A stressed out Walter Mitty, I'm at suicide city, And I've maxed out my last chitty. Suicide city, for my crime. It's the dreaming and aphasic snow, The white noise of this constant go. And frozen in the cauldron's glow, Of demons and my fears of woe; The neediness of knee-jerk foe, Who'd stand and fight them toe to toe, Toe to toe, toe to toe... Down at suicide city, With nothing in the kitty. Suicide city: My life has got so shitty. I'm at suicide city, Waist deep in nitty-gritty. Suicide city. In the slime. It's the waking and the finding, Of the ties, no longer binding, In a white light: burning, blinding, That no-one wants to know. It's the grating and the grinding, Of my teeth and nerves unwinding. It's the brazen lies, reminding me Of a dog and pony show! Down at suicide city, There ain't no joke so witty. Suicide city: The outcome won't be pretty. I'm at suicide city, Where I'll sing my final ditty. Suicide city. Done my time. I've done my time!

— Australad, Jul 15, 2010

About This Poem

About the Author

Country/Region: AUS

Critiques

Candlewitch

15 years 10 months ago

Hello

Nice to meet you! Great lyrics My favorite lines are: It’s the dreaming and aphasic snow, The white noise of this constant go. And frozen in the cauldron’s glow, Of demons and my fears of woe; The neediness of knee-jerk foe, Who’d stand and fight them toe to toe, Toe to toe, toe to toe… Always, Cat

Australad

15 years 10 months ago

Cheers Cat

A strange song I guess because I'm one of the least suicidal people I know, but imagination is a funny thing and it can take you to places you never dreamed of, and even less expect! Thank you for your encouraging words. David

Tonya

15 years 10 months ago

I like this! (most

of it anyways) To me, the image of Walter Mitty just doesn’t fit.. nor chitty.. had to look chitty up.) Even if Water were stressed, I still see him as this goofy loveable, daydreaming soul. Perhaps that was what you were aiming at? I did come up with a suggestion. Surprise! “Down at suicide city, Null of pride and past all pity. Suicide city: A pre-set pain committee I’m at suicide city, Condemned for being flitty Suicide city, for my crime.” I know line 6 is one syllable short.. but maybe so flitty.. just liked the unstable connotation. :0) I love those 2nd and 4th stanza runs.. The 4th is my fav tho. A conglomeration of Everything coming unraveled and fake! Great! Anyways.. just ideas. Always, Tonya

Australad

15 years 10 months ago

WOW Tonya!

- A pithy shrewd insightful analysis, 'just ideas' and a stunning critique. But I'll fight for my Mitty to stay where he is he pushes buttons of nuance, unique.- The first lines of any song must engage an audience with an emotional/ intellectual hook or tease in some way that can be mirrored in the drama or whatever of the music, and as a shameless lyricist,(I've never really considered myself a poet - more a songwriter), Mitty does it for me! And if I might be a little bold, perhaps even for you too? For those of us who know Mitty, who love Mitty, and recognize that gentle American optimism that runs through Thurber's story, may be horrified that I have taken him to the darker places, but I assure you he's been there already. Mitty is a child but an adult child; he knows too well his real world and just wants escape from it. Which is what suicides want I guess. Escape? Tonya, I thought your alternate lines were clever and ingenious, and would probably work better if this were a poem, but as I say a song has different imperatives, so I'll stick to the original, but thanks for your effort; it truly blew my mind! Best Wishes, David

Tonya

15 years 10 months ago

ah David....

You have so colored Walter for me now. My head is full of all sorts of new adventures he probably thought of but his author never penned to paper for us to read. HAHAHAHAHA..shameful! I can see where you might like that line in your song after you explained it so. (me....i don't think I could ever be a song writer. I have tried..and I suck! Unashamedly, I admit it proudly!!) Talk about contrast... walter/suicide.. too funny! But, it's growing on me. Thanks for great reception of the critique. Not everyone is so open. lol Best Wishes back at ya. Always, Tonya