The View

Sun shinning.
Childern Running.
I sit in the shade,
Thinking.
Thinking about how much you mean to me.
You come walking,
Happy to see me.
You ask what I'm doing.
Afraid to show my emotions,
I give no answer.
Smile at me.
Do something.
My heart races,
You kiss me.
Showing no fear,
You say I love you.
Never wanting to forget this moment,
I keep thinking about the View.

— Sinthya, Jul 14, 2010

About the Author

Country/Region: New York

Favorite Poets: I cant really say i have a favorite!

Critiques

Marie-I-Be

16 years ago

significant

Hi. I've read a couple of yours now. I think you have undeniable talent. So far I see tender insight and precious directness. Your way of writing touches chords. This is warm and moving. I'm recalling a few Views of my own burned into the memories of me as a 19-year-old! I'd like to see you make a few corrections. Line 1: shining Line 2: Children Line 16: (some choices) a. You say, "I love you." b. You say, I love you. c. You say you love me.

weirdelf

16 years ago

great feedback from marie there

the only thing I can add is that that last line, in your special way, fixes the poem as something way beyond what it seems. You are truly gifted and a poet to be watched for. Cheers, Jess, Reprehensibly irrepressible,

Roscoe Lane

16 years ago

How do we,

view our lives, hopefully happy but sadly not always. Hope you view remains, and your poetry keeps on coming to Neopoet. Regards Roscoe...

Geezer

16 years ago

Viewing...

I like this alot, and agree with the comments above. I too, hope that you will stick around, and give us more. Sometimes even a nineteen year old, can bring insight to us all. ~ Geezer

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