scribbler

Jul 14, 2010 ⭐ See this poem's read count — a supporter feature

SNOWDAY in CAROLINA

Awake in early morning seeing
Uninterrupted white landscape
   punctuated here and there
             by greens and shades of grey
             crimson holly berries screaming for attention
             birds scattered like colorful
                                                     exclamation points
           Early morning   silence
                   broken by snowplow's rumble
            Soft drifts cushioning irregularities
                   with fluffy chill padding
Children outside without parent's urging
          snowball fights, snowmen
    s
         l
              e
                     d
                             d
                                      i
                                                n
                                                              g    , rosy- cheeked urchins

                                                                       overcrowded bird feeders
   breath visible in dense cold air
squints from snow reflected sun
                                                                  First breeze of day
    causing avalanches off evergreens
                                                                     Wild scurriers leaving hints of passage
      on pristine surface

                                                            This won't last long
   here in the Deep South

— scribbler, Jul 14, 2010

About the Author

Region, Country: South Carolina, United States, USA

Favorite Poets: Frost, Burns, Longfellow, Poe, and Johnson. I guess you've noticed these are all past masters. Other than folks on site I don't read any contemporary poets .

Critiques

faithmairee

16 years ago

You Out Did Yourself This Time

Five stars and my nom for originality, good diction and great delivery. I applaud you! Love-Faith ~I never say anything I don't mean nor do I say anything to be mean.~

scribbler

16 years ago

snowday

Why thank you so much.Free verse isn't my forte' so I am always surprised when they're well received......scribbler

greeneyes

16 years ago

I also gave it a nom!Im from

I also gave it a nom!Im from texas, and I remember those rare snowdays, they were like magic to us. I now live in colorado, and snow is not magical anymore! Great description, I loved this! Greeneyes

scribbler

16 years ago

snowday

I lived in Memphis in early 60's and remember tiring of a 36 in. snowfall that hung around over a week.thanks for the time to read and comment and unexpected nom......scribbler

xena465

16 years ago

Dear Stan

What can I say except absolutely brilliant. Just a few wee things I noticed... broken by snow {plow’s} rumble ……….did you mean[plough’s] here? snowball {fights,snowmen} …………….needs a space[fights, snowmen] here in the deep south ………………capitals maybe? [Deep South] Xena Quote: Science is what you know; philosophy is what you don't know. - Bertrand Russell

scribbler

16 years ago

day

Just checked Webster.Plow and plough are alternate spellings of same word lol.Will implement other changes now.thanks for corrections and comments.....scribbler

barbsdad2003

16 years ago

Uh-oh

I just checked: snowplow seems to be spelled, as far's I can see, as one word versus two. And I'd be inclined to remove the space tween g and , (though I'd have to see the change to judge with greater accuracy). As to style: I much, much prefer this to your rhyming. You've a surprising talent for free verse. I think she's in need of further exploration. Sorry about that. Just had to say it. This piece falls on eye, on ear, on tongue, on brain quite magnificently. Oughta by rights be published. But after allus said'n done, what do publishers know? Regards, Chuck PS: I'd like to see rosy cheeked urchins altered to rosy-cheeked urchins. The hyphen's needed, I think.

scribbler

16 years ago

snow day

you're right about snowplow,I'll change.I tried smaller space after G and it made "slope" end too abruptly in my opinion.I'll continue an occasional free verse, but first love is classic as it seems a greater challenge.Always glad to hear from you and welcome suggestions......scribbler

shirley harrison

16 years ago

WOW Stan!

exquisit Poem i love the ski slope and i would love some snow!your poem gave me a chill and a warm glow! Ah.. Much love Stan shirl.... shirley harrison

scribbler

16 years ago

snow

Great thing about snow around here is it seldom wears out its welcome.thanks for dropping by....Stan

Seren

16 years ago

Dearest Stan

IM getting earlier and earlier only one of yours to read tonight lol brilliant poem I think its wonderful I can see you've put a bit into this one love and big hugs JayCee x x (Quote~~"It is by universal misunderstanding that all agree. For if, by ill luck, people understood each other, they would never agree. "--Charles Baudelaire)

scribbler

16 years ago

snow day

I'd better get busy so as not to allow you to catch up LOL.Thanks for the visit and supportive words....Stan

hobo

16 years ago

This is beautiful

This is a beautiful write my friend, I love the flow and discriptions, this is one of the poems that makes me dream dreams, very nice *You can never pick anyone up if you are busy putting them down*

scribbler

16 years ago

snowday

thanks for such a kind comment.Seems I can't write free verse without using form visualizations.good of you to come by......scribbler

Join Neopoet to leave a critique

Neopoet is a free community of poets who critique and support each other's writing.

Join free Log in