Seren

Jul 14, 2010 ⭐ See this poem's read count — a supporter feature

A Phantom of Red Dust

She slid into a chapter
bound in the volume of life,
a single stanza in effortless grace

she dwelt,
among this paper kingdom
becoming a lady
rounded with words
and ripely shining
in a court of stars,

feted for beauty
searched out by curious
seekers, from all over
all, asking the same question

but all she saw
were visions of dawns
piped through wormholes
from every galaxy,
she was allowed entry
to stroll the gallery of time

then life flickered
in her peripheral
from the farthest reach,
her little blue planet
blinked out her name

as this phantom of red dust
heard the call of home

she fell through a wormhole,
confusing the whole universe,
all over again,

with the echoes
forever singing,

who ! are ! you ?

— Seren, Jul 14, 2010

About the Author

Region, Country: Beyond the Black Stump..Australia, AUS

Favorite Poets: Pablo Neruda, P.K.Page, W.H.Auden, to many and various to include them all ...

Critiques

Candlewitch

16 years ago

Dear Jayne

You give us such great visuals with your imagery and metaphors. I especially love these lines: but all she saw were visions of dawns piped through wormholes from every galaxy, she was allowed entry to stroll the gallery of time Love, Cat

Seren

16 years ago

Dearest Cat

Those are some of my favourite lines in this as well thanks again huni g'night love and big hugs JayCee x x x (Quote~~"It is by universal misunderstanding that all agree. For if, by ill luck, people understood each other, they would never agree. "--Charles Baudelaire)

shirley harrison

16 years ago

wonderful JC

ah i love this the first Stanza just opened it all up for me! stunning poetry as always! much love shirl... shirley harrison

Seren

16 years ago

Dear Shirley

thank you so much I am very happy you liked this one love and hugs JayCee x x x (Quote~~"It is by universal misunderstanding that all agree. For if, by ill luck, people understood each other, they would never agree. "--Charles Baudelaire)

xena465

16 years ago

Wow JayCee

I'm with Cat all the way. This is wonderful. Xena Quote: Science is what you know; philosophy is what you don't know. - Bertrand Russell

Seren

16 years ago

Dear Xena

thanks very much hun I really love that you love this one JayCee x x (Quote~~"It is by universal misunderstanding that all agree. For if, by ill luck, people understood each other, they would never agree. "--Charles Baudelaire)

CyberSpace

16 years ago

who could disagree with the

who could disagree with the beautiful ladies above love me xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

Seren

16 years ago

Who would be game lol I’d

Who would be game lol I'd slap them (for disagreeing with them I mean)lmao love and big hugs me xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox (Quote~~"It is by universal misunderstanding that all agree. For if, by ill luck, people understood each other, they would never agree. "--Charles Baudelaire)

scribbler

16 years ago

dust

wormholes in poetry.What a great idea!Only thing I'd change is delete "and" in line 13.ME giving YOU suggestions lol.......scribbler

Seren

16 years ago

lmao

my Mate Stan I am going to start calling you lol ... I got another mate called Stan actually lol ... thanks for the fix on that line much appreciated love and big hugs JayCee (Quote~~"It is by universal misunderstanding that all agree. For if, by ill luck, people understood each other, they would never agree. "--Charles Baudelaire)

lou

16 years ago

Dear jayne

Perfection Lovexx

Seren

16 years ago

Dear Lou

Thank you very much ... I really appreciate it love and hugs JayCee x x x (Quote~~"It is by universal misunderstanding that all agree. For if, by ill luck, people understood each other, they would never agree. "--Charles Baudelaire)

Dalton

16 years ago

I love this poem. “to

I love this poem. "to stroll the gallery of time" words for a future generation to marvel over john,

Seren

16 years ago

Dear Dalton

Just did a small edit see what you think :) thanks for the lovely words I am glad you liked it love and big hugs JayCee (Quote~~"It is by universal misunderstanding that all agree. For if, by ill luck, people understood each other, they would never agree. "--Charles Baudelaire)

poewriter58

16 years ago

Jay Cee

excellent poem the only thing I would suggest is drop some of those "ands" to many IMO Chrys

Seren

16 years ago

Dear Chrys

I totally agreed with you I have done an edit today there were a few lines I wanted to play with ... but i wanted to work on it here ... I think with your suggestion and my edit im close with this one now I am just got to get a title im happy with lol love and hugs JayCee (Quote~~"It is by universal misunderstanding that all agree. For if, by ill luck, people understood each other, they would never agree. "--Charles Baudelaire)

ziggy

16 years ago

hi jayne

what a brill piece its all the above comments say it is and maybe more, fav lines for me are "but all she saw were visions of dawns piped through wormholes from every galaxy. great indeed and after reading those lines the title had me thinking of planet mars the red dust planet ,,,,,,,,,,,,,zigs

Seren

16 years ago

Dear Ziggy

I never thought of that when I wrote this ~! hahaha but now you got my mind tripping the light fanastic again lol Ziggy I think you just inspired another poem lol Mars the red planet of course duh blonde moment love and many thanks JayCee x x x (Quote~~"It is by universal misunderstanding that all agree. For if, by ill luck, people understood each other, they would never agree. "--Charles Baudelaire)

greeneyes

16 years ago

This so deserves the

This so deserves the spotlight! You are the queen.

Seren

16 years ago

Naaaa Queen of BS lol

Just joking hun ... big smile I am very happy you liked it hun love and big hugs JayCee x x x (Quote~~"It is by universal misunderstanding that all agree. For if, by ill luck, people understood each other, they would never agree. "--Charles Baudelaire)

magics02

16 years ago

Seren the Queen

You just blow us away like a fairies dust that has fallen upon a crescent moon. Love to you aussie lady Mona xoxox

Seren

16 years ago

Dearest Mona

Your very kind and very sweet thank you hun and with a whisper blowing that dust all over the planet lol big hugs and love JayCee x x x (Quote~~"It is by universal misunderstanding that all agree. For if, by ill luck, people understood each other, they would never agree. "--Charles Baudelaire)

Dennis Go

16 years ago

Nice metaphors! Brilliant

Nice metaphors! Brilliant representation thru wormholes and cosmic entities of a lady's love story. Beautiful!

Seren

16 years ago

Dear Dennis

Thank you very much just did a small edit on this one I am nearly happy with it ... very happy you liked it and your right, it is a love story in my imagination lol love JayCee (Quote~~"It is by universal misunderstanding that all agree. For if, by ill luck, people understood each other, they would never agree. "--Charles Baudelaire)

t. reflexion

16 years ago

Neopoet inspired,

This poem is brilliant and celebrates the Neopeot site 'among this paper kingdom'. Well done, you are a star. T.

Seren

16 years ago

Dearest T

Thank you ~! so much for your very kind and lovely comment I appreciate it love and hugs JayCee (Quote~~"It is by universal misunderstanding that all agree. For if, by ill luck, people understood each other, they would never agree. "--Charles Baudelaire)

Geezer

16 years ago

Ripely shining...

amongst the court of stars. You shine brightly as a nova, amongst our court of stars. I was hard pressed to find favorite lines in this one, but there they are. The second stanza is my fav. ~ Love and hugs, ~ Gee

Seren

16 years ago

Dearest Gee

As always I am just happy when you find lines you do like ... much love and big hugs JayCee (Quote~~"It is by universal misunderstanding that all agree. For if, by ill luck, people understood each other, they would never agree. "--Charles Baudelaire)

U K Atiyodi

16 years ago

Serene

Chapter one is read, I look for the next Each chapter is a stage in life Turning back there is room for satiety A life well used and spent for all. Each life is a book, read the folios Experience the eventful part of birth and growth. Dream of the universe is the right of every worm VERY NICE dear SERENE

Seren

16 years ago

Dearest U.K

To dream of the universe is the right of every worm ... I love that thanks for the visit and the wonderful comment I sincerely appreciate it I will repay the visit shortly :) love and hugs JayCee (Quote~~"It is by universal misunderstanding that all agree. For if, by ill luck, people understood each other, they would never agree. "--Charles Baudelaire)

Dalton

16 years ago

in the third stanza you put

in the third stanza you put "feted for beauty" is this a typo, or a strange reference. I can't really fault this poem. john

Seren

16 years ago

Dear John

I have found the meaning of feted ... feted is a word thats used a lot in older works ... feted Main Entry: 2fete Variant(s): or fête Function: transitive verb Inflected Form(s): fet·ed or fêt·ed; fet·ing or fêt·ing Date: 1814 1 : to honor or commemorate with a fete 2 : to pay high honor to hoped that helped the understanding of that word I am very glad you liked this one ... and I appreciate the comment love and hugs JayCee x x (Quote~~"It is by universal misunderstanding that all agree. For if, by ill luck, people understood each other, they would never agree. "--Charles Baudelaire)

raj

16 years ago

Dear JayCee

you keep taking the bar of expectations higher and higher and live up to those expectations too...which is why i am a great fan of your writes...all before me have showered such beautifull comments ... the closing line "who are you" hit like a bolt in the blue...i thorougly enjoyed the experience... much love n hugs...raj (sublime_ocean)...

Seren

16 years ago

Dear Raj

there is a joy I find in writing that I cannot duplicate elsewhere so I have to raise the bar higher for myself, thanks for your wonderful comment I really appreciate the read love and hugs JayCee (“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.” ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson quote)

Victorclaude

16 years ago

“who ! are ! you ?”And

"who ! are ! you ?" And why are we here? For this -- daily daily absurdity midst glory ever unfulfilled even a universe -- infinite universe perhaps wonders the same. . . Ciao, Victor

Seren

16 years ago

Dear V

that is the eternal question isnt it smile I am glad you liked this one love and big hugs JayCee x x x (“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.” ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson quote)

loved

16 years ago

I must read you a million times

I must read you A million times To learn the nuances Of metaphorical poetry.... Someone once asked me Why I didn't take shelter Under the umbrella of metaphors I queried, Yes umbrella I know, What’s a metaphor for? They laughed at my stupendous folly But the reverberating laughter Tells me till today Siren, We poets can never throw Metaphors away Without that poetry is lifeless If you permit me To say, To say To say Iam still LOVED anyway

Seren

16 years ago

A folly of dollies …thanks

A folly of dollies ... thanks for the comment loved glad you liked it umbrellas are more than just umbrellas smile love JayCee (“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.” ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson quote)

Kailashana

16 years ago

I can hear you reading this,

I can hear you reading this, JC. ~ "There is a kind of mysticism to writing." ~ Irvine Welsh

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