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H
hippiepoet69
Jul 14, 2010 ⭐ See this poem's read count — a supporter feature

Take Away my Animal Lust

 take away my animal lust strip away my deep desireto knead your bustrip away your attire after the passions fadeember softly glowspromises that we madefull filled, as our love grows passion now our devotionover time it has grownlove our driving emotionbut lust is holding it's own when lust is just a gleam in our eyemaking love is simply holding handswatching the world go bysoftly caressing our wedding bands strip away my animal lustyou will find deep emotionfilled with love and trustand a life long devotion copyright  6-24-10   huey horton   (hippiepoet69)        
— hippiepoet69, Jul 14, 2010

About the Author

Country/Region: USA

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Critiques

H

hippiepoet69

16 years ago

Hi! Mona

I'm still writting a little. Not finishing then though. Just getting the jrst of my thoughts down before I forget them. I will be inspired to write more. I just hope it isn't the kind I write best. Take Care Mona. huey
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magics02

16 years ago

Yes I see

Chock full of coffee this morning this one is Hippie. I like how you have condensed your lines and the flow of this one. I see progress in the making the more you write. Good job my hippie poet Love at ya guy Mona xoxoxo
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hippiepoet69

16 years ago

Thanks Mona

Thanks to you and others, my writting is improving. I wish I had more time for writting and reading. But I better get to my chores. Heat index today will be 105-110. Take Care. huey
M

magics02

16 years ago

Lil Poem for ya

Here I go Holly and Hippie sitting beside a tree sipping champagne a bottle of glee Holding hands warm to touch Oh,how our Hippie Poet loves her much Just for you to read to her See you soon on the flipside (lol) Love at ya both Mona xxoxox
R

raskin

16 years ago

This is good, playful

This is good, playful rhyme and very sweet sentiments of love. Good to read this morning. raskin
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hippiepoet69

16 years ago

Thanks raskin

Lust has always taken a back seat (pon intended)in my love for Holly. This is a love story 31 years in the making. It has been 28 years since I seen her. I'll see her soon. Thanks for the read and comments. Take Care. huey
xena465

xena465

16 years ago

Dear Huey

Gee this is so lovely, and so very romantic. If only more men felt like this, we women would be a much happier species. Just one wee thing I noticed in this line… but lust is holding {it’s} own ……….[its] Xena Quote: Science is what you know; philosophy is what you don't know. - Bertrand Russell
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hippiepoet69

16 years ago

Thanks Xena

Lust is still part of my attraction to Holly. But even in my 20's it was not my driving force. She was not mine to hold back then. So I didn't. Now lust is even less important. Though I hope it is still alive for years to come. If you have any suggestion how to improve this, Please do. Your comments carry a lot of wieght with me. Take Care. huey
xena465

xena465

16 years ago

Dear Huey

Just this one line I think would benefit with a slight change... {full filled}, as our love grows ……………[fulfils] Remember this line too .......but lust is holding {it’s} own ………[its] ... and maybe with you fist line, if your editing, backspace it once to line it up with the rest of your poem. Xena Quote: Science is what you know; philosophy is what you don't know. - Bertrand Russell
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scribbler

16 years ago

lust

good to see another write from you.And you're right,deep love does outlive lust.2 tiny suggestions;line 5 change "passion" to passions,line 6 change"embers" to ember.lovely theme and write.....scribbler
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hippiepoet69

16 years ago

Thanks Scribbler

I wish she hadn't missed my prime.LOL But she knows My love was never about sex. ...I will make those changes when I get a chance. Your sugestions mean a lot. Take Care. huey

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