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M
mantiscepter
Jul 13, 2010 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Life Force

Ah to be
an autumn breeze

to touch the tops
of the noble trees

high in the forest
or far below

I would move
within freedom's glow

like the stars above
my spirit would shine

guiding this soul
in trails that wind

to a self serenity
my life I'd yield
— mantiscepter, Jul 13, 2010

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Country/Region: USA

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Critiques

M

magics02

15 years 11 months ago

You know Manti

You just keep getting better day by day here. I really like this one and I see your shortening up your lines without losing any flow or meaning. I got hung up on the within in line but it is your piece. I tried to recite it with just the word within freedom's glow and either which way it still sounds good. Bravo to you my friend Doing great!! Love, Mona xoxoxo
M

mantiscepter

15 years 10 months ago

Life Force

Nice to see you again Mona. I see You have been busy around the site, your pumping out the words. one of my most favorite things to do... are things good with you? hopefully they are. your smile is great, it makes me smile. thanks for reading and commenting on this write. your the BOM..... Love John.
S

scribbler

15 years 11 months ago

force

Well I see I've made a mistake in not reading your stuff 'till now.Very good compact write........scribbler
M

mantiscepter

15 years 10 months ago

Life Force

Well that seems fair to me , Hi Scribbler I'm John good to meet you. I hope that means you liked the poem... Thank you for giving your time to comment, and it's a pleasure to meet you. John Mantiscepter
xena465

xena465

15 years 11 months ago

Dear John

This is so great. Well done. Our Stan, just above, (sribbler) has written a poem about trees too and it's very good. Xena Mrs John x Quote: Science is what you know; philosophy is what you don't know. - Bertrand Russell
M

mantiscepter

15 years 10 months ago

Life Force

Well hello young lady how are you today? I'm good, did some spring cleaning today along with some outside stuff, it was a beautiful day here in the States, a lazy type day.it's good to hear you liked this one, trees are nice love nature. Thanks Xena your great. Love John.
Seren

Seren

15 years 11 months ago

Dear John

Beautiful write our autumn is still just behind us ... but I love autumn one of my favourite seasons ... one one suggestion for this one to a self (of or in) serenity my life I’d yield love and big hugs JayCee (Quote~~"It is by universal misunderstanding that all agree. For if, by ill luck, people understood each other, they would never agree. "--Charles Baudelaire)
M

mantiscepter

15 years 10 months ago

Autumn

Hi Seren, Thanx for the read. and your views. is a pretty simple write that says alot. good to hear your thoughts, lots of hugs John.
M

mantiscepter

15 years 10 months ago

Life Force

Hi Green Eyes, how go's the battle at your little corner of the world? we have been busy into yard work, and all the Summer things, you know how it is. lots of baby sitting!! thanks for the read, and remarks on this poem was good to hear you liked it. thanks and see ya soon Love John.