faithmairee

Jul 12, 2010 ⭐ See this poem's read count — a supporter feature

the green demon

lately i've been seeing
the green demon
when i least expect it
he's reflected
in my rearview mirror

i'm sure he's aware
of my secret stares
still he gives no indication
once the foolish games begun

his helmet hides his hair color
his jacket his physique
but i swear
i know that profile
though my memory grows weak

lately i've been meeting
with the green demon
his honda three-fifty screaming
in a race that's never won

— faithmairee, Jul 12, 2010

About the Author

Region, Country: Florida, United States, USA

Favorite Poets: Lawrence Ferlinghetti, Edna St. Vincent Millay, Lucille Clifton and Elizabeth Bishop

Critiques

yenti

16 years ago

Faith

That you see Green Demons is not good, may I ask is that the one that brings the feeling of Envy or have I missed the point. still he gives no indication in my rear-view mirror Just these two lines need attention rearview is a joined word, and just an "s" on give. Excuse my little corrections Hey I am being picky , but otherwise a neat little piece, You have a lovely day, Yours Ian.T

faithmairee

16 years ago

Thank You, Ian

First, let me thank you for pointing out my errors. You are correct on both accounts and appreciate you pointing them out. Secondly, you are very perceptve and while am not currently feeling any jealousy or envy that is, indeed, the green demon I write about. Thank you so much for taking the time to read and respond to my poem. I have corrected my mistakes and agree it is much better now. Thanks for helping me make it that way. Love-Faith ~I never say anything I don't mean nor do I say anything to be mean.~

xena465

16 years ago

Me too...

A great write Faith, but I'm wondering too, I think it's the Honda and helmet that's got me intrigued. Xena Quote: Science is what you know; philosophy is what you don't know. - Bertrand Russell

faithmairee

16 years ago

Dear Xena

Thanks so much for your wonderful comment. I've often heard of jealousy referred to as "the green-eyed monster" so I called it the green demon for this poem. My jealousy in the past would make my heart race and whether I expressed my feelings to my partner or not I never felt like I could win. It seemed like a lose-lose situation. I hope this makes sense. Love-Faith ~I never say anything I don't mean nor do I say anything to be mean.~

magics02

16 years ago

Green Demon

Do I have to come there and spread some water around? LOL I can tell you how to get rid of him in a pm if you like or here wherever I got the perfect potion. LMAO good poem gal and I was wondering why you do not cap the i's?? just asking talk at ya later gal LoveMona

faithmairee

16 years ago

Hey There

Thanks, Mona. I don't capitalize anything except for God and that is out of reverence...thanks for asking. Love-Faith ~I never say anything I don't mean nor do I say anything to be mean.~

magics02

16 years ago

I see

Just trying to help for I see what you mean and respect your wishes. Most editors will want proper punctuation for publication and that is all I was thinking of you know me the proofreader in me. lol Love Mona

Candlewitch

16 years ago

Dear Faith

It's a good poem of jealousy and the floundering feelings it brings. I just have one suggestion. Change all the (i've) and (i) to [I've and I] because I is a proper noun and proper nouns are capitalized. Some people won't even read a poem with lower case I (i) in it. So I guess e.e. cummings must have really whizzed them off, LOL! Always, Cat

faithmairee

16 years ago

Thanks, Cat

Thanks for your commets. You've mentioned this is other poems of mine and I guess I should have said something before now but I thought this fell under last choice in the crit guidelines. I don't capitalize exceptfor God which I do out of reverence. If someone can't get past that and won't read what I have written then so be it. I won't cry. Thanks, dear Cat for reading and responding. Love-Faith ~I never say anything I don't mean nor do I say anything to be mean.~

magics02

16 years ago

You are fine

We just telling you out of love and reverance also. It is your style of writing therefore you may or may not choose to cap your I's for whatever it is you write. We are only here to help and it is always at your discretion to change or stick to your style. Love Mona

faithmairee

16 years ago

Thank You, Mona

Thanks, Mona. I apreciate it. I have had poems published world-wide most of them as is (no capitals). A few editors published my work with capitals without asking me first, It is as you have said my style and I didn't take anything either you or Cat said personally. If I came across insensitve, I do apologize. Much love- ~I never say anything I don't mean nor do I say anything to be mean.~

magics02

16 years ago

No not at all honey

You are so fine and you are your own individual. Everyone has their own style and you have yours. I did not take any of what you said as insensitive. I feel the same way with some of my writing styles and love to share and share alike with all whom I meet here and in my life. You are doing a fine job here gal and you know I love you for being you. I appreciate you also. Love to my florida gal Much Mona xoxo

faithmairee

16 years ago

Thank You, My Friend

You are a kind and wonderful lady. I am priviledged to have you for a friend. I think very highly of you and thank you for your kind words. Much love back atcha-Faith ~I never say anything I don't mean nor do I say anything to be mean.~

shirley harrison

16 years ago

Demons of green

Dear Faith a very honest poem,its a terrible thing to be jealous, simply because it can eat you alive, i find the more you love your self the less jealous you become simply because you feel an inner peace! however in the past i have had lovers that have made me feel incredibly jealous with flirting, but i then realised it was a self esteem problem of them not me! Great subject and a great write with much love shirl.... shirley harrison

faithmairee

16 years ago

Thank You Shirley

Thank you dear Shirley for your wonderful feedback. Yes, it was his flirting that triggered the jealously but that is all in the past since we are no longer together. What you have said about loving yourself really is the key. You are a very wise lady. I'm glad you enjoyed my poem. Love-Faith ~I never say anything I don't mean nor do I say anything to be mean.~

Mari Shine

16 years ago

A stellar penning in this

A stellar penning in this very finely expressed metaphoric write dear Faithmairee. Regardless of subject, your writing is always so excellently inked and so eloquently expressed. Love the smooth flow in this poem and the resplendent imagery you paint with your well chosen words. The Green Eyed Monster got his 'come uppance' and that has made you a stronger person, whose beautiful, warm heart, continues to be open and loving. Lovely work in this write. Thank You for sharing Faithmairee. Blessings.....

faithmairee

16 years ago

Dear Mari

I am so honored by your wonderful remarks. You have left me speechless. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. Love-Faith ~I never say anything I don't mean nor do I say anything to be mean.~

scribbler

16 years ago

demon

I always refer to him as the green monster,but rose by any other name....You always seem to get the most out of each word......scribbler

faithmairee

16 years ago

Thank You, Scribbler

Thank you. I take that as a supreme compliment. I appreciate that! Love-Faith ~I never say anything I don't mean nor do I say anything to be mean.~

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