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Candlewitch
Candlewitch
Jul 11, 2010 ⭐ See this poem's read count — a supporter feature

Depression Dragon

Depression Dragon
by: CM Mattison

 

Depression bites down deep

leaving both inner and

outer scars to remain

Some find the rents on

the mind to be far worse

than the ones recorded

on the soft, fleshy body.

The unrelenting force,

which drives the obsessions,

deep within the psyche,

compulsive thoughts

rip and tear at me until

I find I must give in

to their unreasonable demands,

ripping at my skin with

any available weapon,

even fingernails will do,

anything to appease the demons.

There is a monster inside of me,

usually quieted by medication,

but, sometimes, even that

is not enough to soothe my soul.

Now another nail in my coffin:

diagnosed with inverse psoriasis,

I must use daily a steroidal cream

to quiet the excruciating lesions on my skin.

But the steroid is a monster

in itself, working with

OCD and depression.
 


— Candlewitch, Jul 11, 2010

About the Author

Region, Country: Northwestern Wisconsin USA, USA

Favorite Poets: Edgar Allan Poe, William Blake, Bob Dylan, Tom Petty, Carlos Castaneda, Jim Morrison, the whole of Neopoet and many more., Candlewitch

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More from this author

Critiques

Hooded Stranger

Hooded Stranger

16 years ago

Cat

Cat, we have had many a conversation about depression. You already know that I can relate to all of this. Depression is the hidden monster, the one that kills from the inside. You mention self-harm and OCD. We share not only those but the bitter demon that is DEPRESSION! You have captured the emotions of it all in your words. They are painful to read, but I can take comfort in knowing I am not the only one to suffer and also that we are friends who can help each other through these episodes of life that take us to the very edge. These words hit home the most: The unrelenting force, which drives the obsessions, deep within the psyche, compulsive thoughts rip and tear at me until I find I must give in to their unreasonable demands. I liked the title too - the inner dragon of depression breathes its fire into our very soul, stripping away the remnants of our sanity. A tough poem, delivered in a clear manner, from deep within the murky world that is DEPRESSION! HS ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "With all that I am and all that I could be, I walk this earth and yet nobody sees me".
Candlewitch

Candlewitch

16 years ago

Dear HS

Oh dear, I changed the title from "Dragons Of Depression" to Depression Dragons" I hope you like it better. I changed it before I read your comment. It comforts me to no end that you are my friend and understand all that this poem entails. I know you will always be there for me as will I be there for you. Did you know that Eddy Styx was born of my depression and anger? Don't let your depression and all get the best of you. Just keep writing and I will keep reading and knowing that that our crappy illnesses serve a higher purpose and our art is born from them. I'm considering writing a poem called "Methatrexate Mondays" LOL, but right now I haven't got the energy, because it is Methatrexate Monday! Thank you, my forever friend, Cat
Hooded Stranger

Hooded Stranger

16 years ago

Cat

Cat, I like the new title and I would love it more if you added the missing 's'...Lol! In some ways I wish I didn't understand the poem, but unfortunately, been there and got the t-shirt. The words ring loudly in my head and will echo forever. I didn't know that Styx was born from depression and anger, but it doesn't surprise me. At least something good came from your illness...we now have a wonderful, but evil and twisted Eddy Styx! Methatrexate Monday!...excellent idea. regards, HS ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "With all that I am and all that I could be, I walk this earth and yet nobody sees me".
Candlewitch

Candlewitch

16 years ago

Dear HS

I fixed the typo and I'm glad you like this title better. I hope each day finds you getting stronger and stronger. It's a good thing you like eddy styx, because I will be posting allot of his work. I'm getting ready to find an agent for eddy's work. I'm preparing the "Book Of Styx II" and I need all the help I can get. You're going to be sick of eddy, by the time I am done, LOL! Always, Cat
xena465

xena465

16 years ago

Oh Cat

I feel for you so much. Although I too have depression, but mine is mental, so for you to have these physical problems too I feel guilty. A big hug and kiss for you X. PS. And one from my wee pet rat Zak too X Xena Quote: Science is what you know; philosophy is what you don't know. - Bertrand Russell
Candlewitch

Candlewitch

16 years ago

Dear Xena

Please don't feel guilty as there is no need for it. We each have our own personal set of troubles and who is to say who is worse off. Thank you,dear, for your response. Always, Cat
M

magics02

16 years ago

Golden Lady of Love

You keep writing and get it out on paper on the computer do a blog about it close your eyes and just write it all out. The more you do the more the monster can not take you over. Squash him like a pototoe. I do not want to get into details now but will share at a later date. I think you should close your eyes do a blog or a story of this monster who rages your soul and your body and give him less of the control everyday you do it. You know I understand Love and you are my Golden Woman I came to love and admire here. Talk later honey keep using your cream and write it all out. Sooner or later the monster(S) will have no control over you or it. Much understanding and love sent your way today Mona Magics Momma xxoxoxo:)
Candlewitch

Candlewitch

16 years ago

Dear Mona

I do write about depression allot, and when not writing about depression, I manage to writ allot of depressing poems. I know my depression and OCD will not take me over the edge, because I have made a pact with Steve and Dan, that I give them a chance to talk me out of it. They both can be very convincing! Thank you for your concern, and love dear Lady. Love, Cat
Candlewitch

Candlewitch

16 years ago

Dear Mona

Thank you... you are one of the sweetest, kindest, most caring women I have ever had the pleasure of knowing. I count you in. Love, Cat
M

magics02

16 years ago

Thank you and yes you can count me in

You know it takes a while to get to know one another here and with you it was not off the back it worked but shortly thereafter I came upon your Golden picture and told you how I thought you looked like the good witch in the Wizard of Oz - Glenda and as a child how much I loved and admired her the most in the movie. Hence, I gave you the name of Golden and there is my story. Just wave your magic wand to me and I will respond. Lots of love at ya Golden lady Love and Peace Mona xoxo
L

Lonnie

16 years ago

Searingly sad and sincere!

It is almost beyond comprehension that you suffer so much and yet still manage to write so beautifully! My heart goes out to you, and I know all who read your poems will say the same!
Candlewitch

Candlewitch

16 years ago

Dear Lonnie

Thank you for the beautiful compliment. If I didn't write, this would have been my undoing. I'm glad you understand. Always, Cat
SH

shirley harrison

16 years ago

"Depression"

Dear Cat, An amazing insight into a cruel desease that should be highlighted more! Wonderful write i felt the depression! with much love shirley harrison
Candlewitch

Candlewitch

16 years ago

Dear Shirley

Thank you for your understanding. These illnesses are still much misunderstood, even in this day and age. Love, Cat
M

Marie-I-Be

16 years ago

moved

I appreciate that you reveal so much here. My heart goes out to you. I have read quite a lot of your work without commenting, but upon this one here I feel left with no choice. The treatment you give the subject, the care with which you express not too little and not too much, sits just right. Not to blemish my critique with a spelling issue, but you can improve the important impact of this write by correcting the two instances where you have sooth rather than soothe. Thanks for sharing with your friends. Herewith my stars and nomination.
B

barbsdad2003

16 years ago

And now ...

a ditto (as to stars and nomination) from me---and a hundred percent agreement with Marie's comment. Hugs, Chuck PS: Oops! Now I've gotta go back and click on stars. Missed it the first comment go-round.
Candlewitch

Candlewitch

16 years ago

Dear Marie

We too have something in common; I often read your poems without commenting. I am the silent presence witnessing your art. Thank you so much for bringing this problem with my poem to my attention. I have fixed it, and changed one of them to another word choice. Always, Cat
M

Marie-I-Be

16 years ago

edits

I like all of your edits, particularly "to quiet the excruciating lesions on my skin." If you're up for a few more edits: Your first-line repeat of your new title has a typo of a missing s. You don't need to capitalize the diagnosis of inverse psoriasis. Also, although what you have is correct, under modern punctuation usage and guidelines you don't need to use surrounding commas anymore in a line such as "I must use daily a steroidal cream." Your choice, of course, but my personal preference is toward simplicity.
Candlewitch

Candlewitch

16 years ago

Dear Marie

Thank you for taking the time to re-read this piece. And for helping me with the corrections. Always, Cat
Candlewitch

Candlewitch

16 years ago

Dear Chuck

I don't know how my response to Marie ended up under your comment. Just a fluke, I guess. Thank you for reading and the gift of the stars and nomination :) Always, Cat
MS

Mari Shine

16 years ago

I have to agree with Lonnie

I have to agree with Lonnie on this one Cat! My admiration for you is immense, bless you. You have captured depression in both word and imagery in this wonderfully penned write. Keep writing and getting thoughts and feelings down on paper, it is wonderfully therapeutic. All gifted artists/poets/writers have through the centuries if not time immemoriam, suffered also from depression. You are among the elite dearest Cat. My thoughts and prayers are with you. I send you Blessings and Spiritual energies. Thank You for sharing this super write Cat.
Candlewitch

Candlewitch

16 years ago

Dear Mari

Thank you so much for your words of comfort and praise. I accept the Blessings and spiritual energies with a grateful heart, as only a candle witch can. Always, Cat
LZ

Lil Z

16 years ago

This!

Is a great one, absolutely brilliant! And I love the depth, truly inspiring!
Seren

Seren

16 years ago

Dearest ~

Its all been said before me sorry I missed it last night wasnt feeling too hot ... you just get better and better huni nominated :) love and big hugs JayCee x x x (Quote~~"It is by universal misunderstanding that all agree. For if, by ill luck, people understood each other, they would never agree. "--Charles Baudelaire)
Candlewitch

Candlewitch

16 years ago

Dear Jayne

I know you have your own set of problems. This kind of makes us sisters in misery. You take care. Love, Cat
R

raj

16 years ago

Dear Cat

your write took me on a real time conducted tour of the phenomenon of depression and then reading through the comments of others i was taken on a real time tour of wonderful souls here in Neopoet who send heartfelt best wishes as true as the fragrance of a flower...i do hope it lifts you up and provides a soothing effect... warmly....raj (sublime_ocean)...
Candlewitch

Candlewitch

16 years ago

Dear Elizabeth

Thank you for your kind words. I'm sorry that you understand, because I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy. Love, Cat
Kailashana

Kailashana

16 years ago

Depression, one of the

Depression, one of the *gifts* engineered by our body's pharmaceuticals. To rise above it in creativity is another gift. Light, Anna "There is a kind of mysticism to writing." ~ Irvine Welsh
AW

Ayaz Warith

16 years ago

The Saddest Write

Dear Cat, it's really "sad". Well I am not using pun, but the poet in you can see what I mean. I wish it could be a little longer because I was lost reading it and stumbled over the FULL STOP. Hahahahaha Ayaz Warith
P

poewriter58

16 years ago

Cat

My dearest friend. I hope your writing this out helped a bit. I cannot say anymore than has been said. This is the kind of soul cleansing write that should not be tampered with. love ya Chrys
Candlewitch

Candlewitch

16 years ago

Dear Chrys

Yes, writing this out was very helpful. Like cutting out a cancer. Thank you so very much for your kindness and understanding. Love, Cat

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