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Lessons: Players of Life

Petals, petals cast their newness aside
velvety visions of beauty glistening with dew

Bright, aromatic tear shaped works of art
each with undefined flaws visible head on

No longer a part, of that which gets noticed
fading without regret, for they danced on air
lived out loud, felt the rain, greeted the sun

Free to be all they were intended to be
wonders, wonders these players of life


— jamadarie, Jul 11, 2010

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Critiques

Roscoe Lane

Roscoe Lane

15 years 11 months ago

Excellent.

beautifull thoughts, life is so fickle, we spend to much time worrying about life instead of living it. One thing, try not using capital letters at the beginning of each line, i was given this advice when i first came to Neopoet. beautiful poem, Regards Roscoe..
M

magics02

15 years 11 months ago

As I look at the roses I see this poem

Hey gal a lovely poem I liked alot. You did not ask for crit or any feedback but I feel compelled to just suggest breaking it down a bit and a continuance of it maybe in another poem. Other then that you got my vote gal and nice to see you around again. Love Mona
xena465

xena465

15 years 10 months ago

Welcome back Jamadarie

Brilliant poem with great visionary. Xena Quote: Science is what you know; philosophy is what you don't know. - Bertrand Russell
weirdelf

weirdelf

15 years 10 months ago

and?....

Cheers, Jess, Praise helps no poet, have the courage and generousity to give critique.