Noxious Fumes

You write beautifuly expressive in the torment poetry of this creative fire Ive waited this long to say this Thank You for your poems E~

You have excellent wordcraft and this is a powerfull poem. I have a few suggestions which might perhaps make it even more emotive in places. For example "invade" could be altered to "possess", "solid mass" might be "suffocating mass". Perhaps "drown me" rather than "hold me"? "Adrift" should be one word I think. "I am in stasis for what seems like eternity" sounds a little technical and is perhaps slightly too long and so breaks the flow a little. Perhaps "I'm suspended for an eternity" Hope this is of some help. Best wishes Keith

I agree with the professor, on all points, and add one of my own. [Prey] instead of pray. I also agree with Esker, my dear friend. You write the most exquisite torment poetry. If it didn't seem to truly come from your heart, I would cry for more. I may just cry anyways, Love and hugs, ~ Gee

and happiness! I couldn't agree more. I know so many of us can share these thoughts, Lou. It creeps like fog to enshroud us. I love the content/meaning you are giving us. (well...not love to feel so tortured, but you do give hope) I think the professor has some excellent suggestions and agree with him. Thanks for the poem and your expressive vision. Always, Tonya

Everyone beat me to it so I've nothing left to say. I see this as a poem of hope coming through the despair Chrys

Here I was all ready for a poem on farts LOL.After that disappointment,the work proceeded to live up to your usual standards......scribbler