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M
magics02
Jul 09, 2010 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

When Life Was A Rhythm

How long was the day
that was spent this way
no longer the clock
on the wall tells time
when life was a rhythm
a song was a rhyme
 
Ticking away moments,
a minute gone past
memories of old,
forever they last
hold on to those thoughts
must never let them go
for the heart holds much 
memories you know 

bodies may be weak
the mind seeks for sleep
a picture's worth a thousand words
the voice is silenced, but still heard
Sleep heavenly angel, sleep tonight
tomorrow awakens, the suns pure light 

mms 7.09.10

— magics02, Jul 09, 2010

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: USA - Florida, USA

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Critiques

faithmairee

faithmairee

15 years 11 months ago

Very Nice Work

Dear Mona- I really like this one. Very nice work, my friend. Love-Faith ~I never say anything I don't mean nor do I say anything to be mean.~
M

magics02

15 years 11 months ago

Thank you my lady friend

I did this one rather quick and see to come back and retweak her a bit here and there. I thank you for the comments and the visit. Love-Mona
lou

lou

15 years 11 months ago

Mona

Lovely poem but I think it needs a couple of tweaks , i hope you don't mind if i make a few suggestions. How long was the day that was spent (without a clock) on the wall (marking) time when life was a rhythm a song was a rhyme Ticking away moments, memories of old, forever they last hold on to those thoughts must never let them go for the heart holds(them all) The body may be weak (and ) seeks sleep (but) a picture’s worth a thousand words a voice is silent, but still heard Sleep heavenly angel, sleep tonight tomorrow awakens, the suns pure light love lou xx
M

magics02

15 years 11 months ago

Thank you Lou

I have to revisit your tweaks I seen if I change that one work it will interrupt the flow a bit but I tweaked it some and for sure appreciate your suggests. I will be back again Love-Mona
xena465

xena465

15 years 11 months ago

Wonderful Mona

I know you work very hard and time is something that you have to keep track of, but for me, sometimes I have to check if it’s a.m. or p.m. If I have really bad days whereby I’m wallowing in self-pity I go to my bed to hide for awhile and get confused when I awake wondering if it’s day or night. Depression does that to you. But I still remember the times when I held down two jobs and still managed to go to the pub and the disco. That’s when life had rhythm for me. Great write Mona. Xena Quote: Science is what you know; philosophy is what you don't know. - Bertrand Russell
M

magics02

15 years 11 months ago

Hey thank you gal

For your comments and visit. Yes and you reminded me of working long hours and going to the disco every other nite. And dance dance now I sit here and write, who would of ever thougth that I would of been doing this 38 years ago instead of dancing I would probably have this poetry stuff down pat by now. LOL Thank you for stopping by Xena Warrior Lady Love-Mona
Seren

Seren

15 years 11 months ago

Dear Mona

brings back memories Mona ... lots of memories lol lovely I see you've already had some help brava love and big hugs JayCee x x x (Quote~~"It is by universal misunderstanding that all agree. For if, by ill luck, people understood each other, they would never agree. "--Charles Baudelaire)
M

magics02

15 years 11 months ago

You can always add your help too honey

Thank you for the visit gal and I did not press no boxed for any crit I forgot and let it go. sometimes do you find yourself just pouring out your thoughts with no rhyme or reason to it. It is as this we try, maybe we are too hard on ourselves at times and it takes away all the fun of just writing like the little card that says on a bouquet of flowers to someone "Just Because" I guess that is what I was doing just another "Just Because Poem" I think that will be a chapter in my book someday hmm got my own self thinking of just that right now. Love at ya gal and miss seeing you around in here Mona xoxoxo Happy Birthday Bethany Gal From a favorite Florida pal I wish you love I wish you cheer Now that 17 is finally here xoxoxox
M

magics02

15 years 10 months ago

Thank you my fan Lil Z

I can not wait to hear your songs!! Have you did a spoken word here yet? Let me know when okay and thanks for stopping by. Love at ya guy Mona xoxoxo