Seren

Jun 30, 2010 ⭐ See this poem's read count — a supporter feature

Unbreakable

I pressed a barb
under my tongue
to remind me

I pierced glass
into my heart
to awaken a story

as blood dripped
a memory formed
in the pain and suffering
an effigy wavered

then I knew
some stories
should never be told
and forever remain

locked under my tongue
speared into my heart
and silent in eternity

— Seren, Jun 30, 2010

About the Author

Region, Country: Beyond the Black Stump..Australia, AUS

Favorite Poets: Pablo Neruda, P.K.Page, W.H.Auden, to many and various to include them all ...

Critiques

CyberSpace

16 years ago

hey lovey i think this is my

hey lovey i think this is my favourite keep m coming love always hubby xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Seren

16 years ago

Thanks darlin love me xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox (Quote~~"It is by universal misunderstanding that all agree. For if, by ill luck, people understood each other, they would never agree. "--Charles Baudelaire)

Candlewitch

16 years ago

Dearest Jayne

You speak the words of raw truth. That lesson is a hard one learned an paid for. Brilliant! Love, Cat

Seren

16 years ago

Dearest Cat

Thank you hun ... much appreciated ... and yep earnt fair and square love and hugs JayCee x x x (Quote~~"It is by universal misunderstanding that all agree. For if, by ill luck, people understood each other, they would never agree. "--Charles Baudelaire)

Kailashana

16 years ago

“To hold all this in

"To hold all this in one's heart is inexpressible." ~ Ram Dass ~ The whole modern world has divided itself into Conservatives and Progressives. The business of Progressives is to go on making mistakes. The business of the Conservatives is to prevent the mistakes from being corrected. G.K. Chesteron

Seren

16 years ago

Your comment reminded me of

Your comment reminded me of this one I hadnt finished lol now it is, it just needed a conclusion and we now have one thanks and hugs of love JayCee x x x x (Quote~~"It is by universal misunderstanding that all agree. For if, by ill luck, people understood each other, they would never agree. "--Charles Baudelaire)

shirley harrison

16 years ago

I love the title

Dear seren this is power poetry at its best! everyone has secrets and your poem is Magic! much love shirl..... shirley harrison

Seren

16 years ago

Dear Shirley

Thanks so much for the comment ... Anna reminded me I had started to write this and I had been undecided on which way to end it lol a comment and a quote helped me finish this one lol love and hugs JayCee (Quote~~"It is by universal misunderstanding that all agree. For if, by ill luck, people understood each other, they would never agree. "--Charles Baudelaire)

lou

16 years ago

Bitter Sweet

very painful and emotional love lou xx

Seren

16 years ago

Dear Lou

thanks for the comment hun I appreciate it love and hugs JayCee x x x (Quote~~"It is by universal misunderstanding that all agree. For if, by ill luck, people understood each other, they would never agree. "--Charles Baudelaire)

Candlewitch

16 years ago

Dearest Jayne

Congrats on making the spotlight! Love, Cat

Seren

16 years ago

Dearest Cat

thanks so much hun its been a while, but always lovely when people enjoy these scribbles of mine love to you and hugs JayCee x x x (Quote~~"It is by universal misunderstanding that all agree. For if, by ill luck, people understood each other, they would never agree. "--Charles Baudelaire)

raj

16 years ago

Hi JayCee

I liked the style of this write and loved the closing lines ...a poem which creates a suspense and then leaves a lot for the reader to imagine requires skill and lots of creativity of which you certainly have tons... love n hugs.. raj (sublime_ocean)

Seren

16 years ago

Dear Raj

Thanks for the wonderful comment ... this poem was written a while back but as I said above it lacked a ending ... Anna helped with some inspiration last night love and hugs JayCee x x x x (Quote~~"It is by universal misunderstanding that all agree. For if, by ill luck, people understood each other, they would never agree. "--Charles Baudelaire)

club special

16 years ago

I pierced glass, into my

I pierced glass, into my heart, to awaken a story~ lovely! Club Special

Seren

16 years ago

Dear Brian

Lovely to see you thanks for the comment very glad you liked it Love and hugs JayCee (Quote~~"It is by universal misunderstanding that all agree. For if, by ill luck, people understood each other, they would never agree. "--Charles Baudelaire)

magics02

16 years ago

Unbreakable.. Unshakable

That is what you are and you shall so remain. I am with you in this poetic piece and just know you are not alone. Great words from a great poetess Hugs at ya Aussie lady Mona

Seren

16 years ago

Dear Mona

Thanks so much for the wonderful comment hun .. none of us are alone, together ;) hugs and love JayCee x x x (Quote~~"It is by universal misunderstanding that all agree. For if, by ill luck, people understood each other, they would never agree. "--Charles Baudelaire)

scribbler

16 years ago

unbreakable

Silence for the greater good.So easily said ,so hard to do.Magnificent!.......scribbler

Seren

16 years ago

Dearest Stan

Magnificent ... is one of my favourite words lol you just made my morning thanks Stan big smile love and hugs JayCee x x x (Quote~~"It is by universal misunderstanding that all agree. For if, by ill luck, people understood each other, they would never agree. "--Charles Baudelaire)

greeneyes

16 years ago

As usual, this is amzing

As usual, this is amazing work. Jayne,you write with such ease, you make it look easy. Elizabeth

Seren

16 years ago

thanks heaps elizabeth …

thanks heaps elizabeth ... we both know they arent always easy, some of them are like pulling teeth lol thanks for the lovely comment love and hugs JayCee x x x (Quote~~"It is by universal misunderstanding that all agree. For if, by ill luck, people understood each other, they would never agree. "--Charles Baudelaire)

pleiades

16 years ago

as blood drips a memory

as blood drips a memory formed...2 different tenses perhaps, as blood dripped a memory formed as the preceding 2 stanzas are past tense? one of my favourites of yours painfully, beautifully written a lot of potency lies between these words...the great unsaid is mighty powerful terrific opening and closing lines seren brava p

Seren

16 years ago

Dearest P

I noticed the past tense last night and then forgot to fix it so thanks for bringing it to my attention again just fixed it I was considering writing a poem and I actually started it ... but as this poem says some stories shouldnt be told ... so I wrote this one instead so happy you liked this one love and big hugs JayCee x x x (Quote~~"It is by universal misunderstanding that all agree. For if, by ill luck, people understood each other, they would never agree. "--Charles Baudelaire)

xena465

16 years ago

Dear JayCee

I love your play with words. Sometimes they sound like a punishment e.g. "I pressed a barb under my tongue to remind me". But it's just your magic way of showing your sensitive side. If you know what I mean? I hope. Xena Quote: Science is what you know; philosophy is what you don't know. - Bertrand Russell

Seren

16 years ago

Dear Xena

Honesty if i tried to do something to hurt myself ? my partner would go ballistic lol ... as you know we tend to hurt yourselves when we arent in our right minds ;) ... but its not something I contemplate for real anymore I leave it for my writing thanks for the lovely comment love and hugs JayCee x x x (Quote~~"It is by universal misunderstanding that all agree. For if, by ill luck, people understood each other, they would never agree. "--Charles Baudelaire)

loved

16 years ago

the more i read this poem

the more i feel pain it numbs me and my brain what more can i say than this i adore ur poetry miss

Seren

16 years ago

Dearest Loved

thank you for the accolades greatly appreciated ... there is a lot of pain in this one love and hugs JayCee (Quote~~"It is by universal misunderstanding that all agree. For if, by ill luck, people understood each other, they would never agree. "--Charles Baudelaire)

Dennis Go

16 years ago

Awesome!

I think I read this before on another poetry site. Deja-Vu? Lovely work :)

Seren

16 years ago

Dear Dennis

I only finished this one just this week so maybe it reminds you of another poem .. if you can remember where you read it I would be very interested to read it thanks for the comment regards JayCee (Quote~~"It is by universal misunderstanding that all agree. For if, by ill luck, people understood each other, they would never agree. "--Charles Baudelaire)

Geezer

16 years ago

As per usual...

You have spoken the unspoken thoughts of many. Love and hugs, ~ Gee

Seren

16 years ago

Dearest Gee

Thank you hun (huggles) love JayCee x x (Quote~~"It is by universal misunderstanding that all agree. For if, by ill luck, people understood each other, they would never agree. "--Charles Baudelaire)

Stuart Reiss

16 years ago

Awesome!!!

Aww Jayne, Loved the words and the suscinct picture they painted!! Awesome write !! Best regards Stu :-)

Seren

16 years ago

Dear Stu

Ltns Mate good to see you and glad you liked this one thanks love and hugs JayCee x x x (Quote~~"It is by universal misunderstanding that all agree. For if, by ill luck, people understood each other, they would never agree. "--Charles Baudelaire)

Ananzi

16 years ago

Yeah

I have to agree with all the above. This is one of my favourites I have seen so far.

Seren

16 years ago

Dear Ananzi

I really appreciate your comment, there are some wonderful poems here at Neopoet thats high praise but thank you love JayCee (Quote~~"It is by universal misunderstanding that all agree. For if, by ill luck, people understood each other, they would never agree. "--Charles Baudelaire)

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