judyanne

Jun 28, 2010 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Summer Rain

Steams from vellum rise.

Bubbly fluffy ink above

sends large diamond drops

to unite in fragrant dance,

in crescendos of perfume.

— judyanne, Jun 28, 2010

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: Western Australia, AUS

Favorite Poets: Favourite poets? So many, so varied. I like particular songs, not necessarily the singer... and the same goes for poetry. I can honestly say though, that Alfred Noyes' The Highwayman was what inspired my love of poetry - my mother began reading it to me when I was still a baby, and it became my favourite bedtime story

Critiques

greeneyes

15 years 11 months ago

great visual

beautiful and soothing!

judyanne

15 years 11 months ago

thank you elizabeth

thanks for visiting and the lovely comment love judy xxxx http://www.strategicpublishinggroup.com/title/TwentyMyPrettyPonies.html

weirdelf

15 years 11 months ago

steam from vellum?

don't get it Cheers, Jess, Reprehensibly irrepressible,

judyanne

15 years 11 months ago

hey jess

vellum - fine yellow parchment made from the skin of cows always reminds me of the hot desert (I know ours is red - but parts where i grew up are very yellow in places.....) anyway - doesn't work? how about parchment? any other ideas (and since it is for the comp am i allowed to use yours, i suppose that's a silly question - but i'd be sillier not to ask ???? thanks for the read and crit - appreciated. love judy xxxx http://www.strategicpublishinggroup.com/title/TwentyMyPrettyPonies.html

weirdelf

15 years 11 months ago

steam doesnot rise fro vellum

bloddy fluffy ink? its a vague not sensical poem Cheers, Jess, Reprehensibly irrepressible,

judyanne

15 years 11 months ago

hey jess

writing haiku, tanka, choka is very new to me jess. as i first met you when you were running a haiku chat i view you as one of a few resident Japanese poetry ‘experts’ here at neopoet so i was happy to see you come to my page i’m a little disappointed that you chose to critique this with nothing more constructive than ‘it’s stupid i don’t like it’ by the way – i’ll be in Sydney next month – wanna meet for coffee? cheers judy xxxx http://www.strategicpublishinggroup.com/title/TwentyMyPrettyPonies.html

weirdelf

15 years 11 months ago

ah, late at night, not my best, missed it's concise elegance,

sorry. Cheers, Jess, Reprehensibly irrepressible,

judyanne

15 years 11 months ago

concise elegance?

now i'm smiling jess - don't know whether you're having a lend of me..... love to you judy xxxx http://www.strategicpublishinggroup.com/title/TwentyMyPrettyPonies.html

shirley harrison

15 years 11 months ago

Summer rain

Dear Judy, you know that here in Tuscany the air smells before the rain arrives! but its a summer smell i get it Fab and beautifully written too! much love shirley harrison

judyanne

15 years 11 months ago

thanks shirley

your regular visits are so much appreciated hun love judy xxxx http://www.strategicpublishinggroup.com/title/TwentyMyPrettyPonies.html

Candlewitch

15 years 11 months ago

Dear Judy

My favorite lines: ends large diamond drops to unite in fragrant dance, a crescendo of perfume. Love, Cat

judyanne

15 years 11 months ago

thanks cat

i'm going to change that last line hope you still like it thanks for the support love judy xxxx http://www.strategicpublishinggroup.com/title/TwentyMyPrettyPonies.html

scribbler

15 years 11 months ago

rain

IS this senryu ?Nothing quite like the smell of rain in the middle of a dry spell.If syllable count or some rule I don't know allows ,maybe insert "dust" between "vellum"and"rise"?May add clarification for befuddled readers.......scribbler

judyanne

15 years 11 months ago

thanks scribbler

it's supposed to be tanka - 5 7 5 7 7 tanka and haihu describe nature i'm not sure what the line count is for senryu - possibly the same, but it deals with social issues rather than nature (at tleast that's how i understand it) love judy xxxx http://www.strategicpublishinggroup.com/title/TwentyMyPrettyPonies.html

Electric Blue

15 years 11 months ago

Summer Rain

Judyann Haiku Tanka choka a little foreign to me. I understand it is a form of mathmatics that has to be thought about I just stream and let my thought flow. I have written some intentional poems but better for me to stream But i love the challenge so what will be will be I have seen this but not always understand but what you have written is simply beautiful. it does not have to be worked out just breathe it in - inhale deeply Do not be discouraged by others who believe they know all and critisize We all have to start somewhere - so believe in your self it will come when not expected Always Electric Blue

judyanne

15 years 11 months ago

thanks maggie

for your support love to you judy xxxx http://www.strategicpublishinggroup.com/title/TwentyMyPrettyPonies.html