Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

L

Street Scene

                      Street  Scene




                An old man wrapped in ragged clothes
                pissing on a wall
                legs so frail and spindly
                he looks like he will fall

                Grime faced children looking on
                giggle in delight
                as if they have no cares at all
                of where they'll spend this night

                Smells of puke and reefer smoke
                linger in the air
                whores perform their oral tasks
                as though no folk were there

                Just ahead, a young man lies,
                bleeding in the street
                stabbed for seven dollars
                and the shoes upon his feet

                Not a soul will stop to help
                not one person cares
                just another day of pain
                devoid of hope or prayers


                C.  Lon  R.  Bruso
               

               

               

               

               
— Lonnie, Jun 26, 2010

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: New England, originally, now, Macon, N.C., USA

Favorite Poets: Poe, Frost, Bob Dylan

More from this author

Critiques

Candlewitch

Candlewitch

15 years 11 months ago

Dear Lonnie

I am always in awe of your talent, and your caring heart. Favorite lines: Not a soul will stop to help not one person cares just another day of pain devoid of hope or prayers *Hugs, Cat
L

Lonnie

15 years 11 months ago

Thank you, Cat!

If you enjoyed this poem, then I know it is worthwhile! Thanks for all your support for me as well!
M

magics02

15 years 11 months ago

Wow Lonnie

I don't know if you read my blog the other day about writing for a homeless person or a downtrodden individual but this is exactly what I meant fiction or not. Truly a good write my friend Love,Mona xoxo
L

Lonnie

15 years 11 months ago

Thanks, Mona!

No, I didn't read your blog, but I am happy to have written something that is similar to what you were looking for! Thanks for reading and commenting!
judyanne

judyanne

15 years 11 months ago

heartfelt write lonnie

excellent rhythm and word useage to drag the reader into the mire of depression your write conveys i feel miserable now thanks a lot gotta go chase a shirleyharrison now or a randyhobo to cheer me up. cheers judy xxxx http://www.strategicpublishinggroup.com/title/TwentyMyPrettyPonies.html
L

Lonnie

15 years 11 months ago

Thank you, Judy!

That was the purpose of this particular poem, to make people feel a bit as those on the street do! Glad it worked!
Professor Purple

Professor Purple

15 years 11 months ago

Beautiful!

Perfect rhythm, I like the theme, the title is sort of "neutral", it doesn't give away the sadness to come. It's up to you whether you want it that way, it does fit with the "detached" feel that I got while reading you. One suggestion: "The shoes that left his feet" or something like that. Overall an excellent poem. Antoine
L

Lonnie

15 years 11 months ago

Thank you, Antoine!

'Neutral' is exactly how many people feel about this whole problem of street life, so yes, it does indeed fit! I'm glad you enjoyed it!
Rett

Rett

15 years 11 months ago

Awesome Lonnie

And believe it or not, I have the perfect picture to go with that poem dangit! Respectfully, Rett: “Anyone who sacrifices liberty for security deserves neither.” Benjamin Franklin
L

Lonnie

15 years 11 months ago

Thanks, Rett!

Maybe I'll use your picture when I put this poem in my next book! Hey, maybe we could collaborate or something! Anyways, thanks for reading and leaving the nice comment!
LZ

Lil Z

15 years 11 months ago

A genius of poetry!

I am always honored to read your eloquent words, you are a clear genius of poetry, amazing!
L

Lonnie

15 years 11 months ago

Thanks, Lil Z!

I always appreciate hearing from someone who is fairly new to the site, as it gives me a new perspective on how my work is viewed! Thank you for coming by to read and comment!
P

poewriter58

15 years 11 months ago

Lon

I cannot say anymore than has been said. I do tend to disagree with professor purple. My opinion only. If you changed that wording it would somehow changed the fact that he was murdered for the money in his wallet and a simple pair of shoe. That is how desperate these people are. Chrys Oh I have the picture I will fwd it to your mail Me
L

Lonnie

15 years 11 months ago

Thank you, Dear!

I believe I agree with you, I'll not change the line! and, it would be interesting to see the picture Rett was talking about!
S

scribbler

15 years 11 months ago

scenes

Don't you ever write anything mediocre? lol.Another example of the type work to which all aspire.........scribbler
L

Lonnie

15 years 11 months ago

Thanks, Scribbler!

I never worry about quality, as that is mostly in the eyes of the reader, just content! I' am glad you thought this one good, thank you!
Roscoe Lane

Roscoe Lane

15 years 11 months ago

You have,

brought the scene to life with words, to try and say any more is pointless. Your poem say's it all. Excellent. Regards Roscoe..
L

Lonnie

15 years 11 months ago

Thank you, Roscoe!

I was thinking back the other day to the time when I was homeless out in California, and this poem just popped into my head! Glad you thought it worthwhile!
SH

shirley harrison

15 years 11 months ago

Dear Lonnie

what a fantastic poem, reality just brilliant! you did bring this peice to life i saw everything! much love shirley harrison
L

Lonnie

15 years 11 months ago

Thank you, Shirley!

Life on the street is very harsh, and I wanted to allow people who never see or even conceive of that environment a brief glimpse into it's reality! Thank you for stopping by and I'm glad you liked this poem!
R

raj

15 years 11 months ago

Mr.Lonnie

to raise such issues like you have done in this write is testimony of a man with a wonderful heart who feels the pain as well as the pleasure of the world we live in...in fact thats the theme of what i am currently working on "Am I a Thief or Keeper".... i always look forward to read more of yours... be well...raj (sublime_ocean)..
L

Lonnie

15 years 11 months ago

Thank you, raj!

I'm pleased that you stopped by to read and leave a word or two, and even more pleased that you enjoyed the poem, again, thank you!
greeneyes

greeneyes

15 years 11 months ago

Beautifully written! Brought

Beautifully written! Brought tears to my eyes. I love your poetry, you are a great talent(even if you dont support our president and i do! lol) i forgive ya! Still loved this poem! Your Friend, Elizabeth
L

Lonnie

15 years 11 months ago

Thank you, Elizabeth!

Praise like this I find it hard to reply to, but rest assured, It is very much appreciated! All poetry should touch one's emotions in some fashion or other, and I'm glad this one touched yours! Thank you again!
Seren

Seren

15 years 11 months ago

Dear Lonnie

I am sorry to get here late but I have been hell busy getting things moving ... I think this is a tragic slice of today's society ... sad but true brilliantly moving poem love and big hugs JayCee (Quote~~"It is by universal misunderstanding that all agree. For if, by ill luck, people understood each other, they would never agree. "--Charles Baudelaire)
L

Lonnie

15 years 11 months ago

Thank you, JayCee!

Unfortunately, I have witnessed things such as this when I, myself was a part of street life, and the images never go away! Thank God in my later years, I am experiencing better things! Thanks for your support and I'm glad you enjoyed this!
E

eleahj

15 years 11 months ago

This poem was amazing and

This poem was amazing and really showed the raw truth of homelessness, we dont see often
seabhac

seabhac

15 years 11 months ago

Excellent

Short, rhymatic and bluntly to the point. No frills No thrills Just life And of course apart from the empathy the reader leaves glad that it is someone elses life , not theres. Seabhac
lou

lou

15 years 11 months ago

Lonnie

Sad comment on society well written, consistent rythm and theme. Only one tiny thing hardly worthe mentioning, but I just think it sounds a little better, how about saying in line two, 'pissing up a wall'? A good read. lou xx
L

Lonnie

15 years 11 months ago

Thanks, lou!

I probably didn't say 'pissing up a wall' because old men are hardly ever 'up' to it! LOL!! Hey, thanks for the read and the nice comment!
MS

Mari Shine

15 years 11 months ago

Lonnie, what a finely

Lonnie, what a finely crafted write this is. It's sharply defined visual detail allowed me to envision street life in all it's sights, scents and sounds as I read. A very poignant poem, which touched me on so many different levels, as it flowed satin smooth from your poetic/artistic pen. Your wonderful poem gave me much to think about as I get on with my day and has filled me with gratitude and appreciation for the life that I have in this lifetime. Brilliant penning Lonnie, and I thank you so very much for sharing it with me today.
L

Lonnie

15 years 11 months ago

Thank you, mari !

I'm glad you got so much out of this and I thank you for taking the time to read and leave a comment! Have a great day!